As my therapist once told me, "you seem to think everyone is in touch with why they do things. In my experience, people just do things and when they repeat the same pattern later they are stunned at getting the same results" Maybe we just have to accept that "sh1t happens". That makes us feel very vulnerable though 'cuz we want to make sense of everything so that we can prevent it from happening again...and you're just starting a new relationship so I'm not surprised these thoughts are coming up. Maybe rather than wondering why she did what she did, it might be more constructive to look at your role in what happened...'cuz that you can change. I'm not blaming you for the end of your relationship but we each played a role in what happened in our marriages and it's a blessing to figure out what that was and think about what we can do better. OW is a dirtbag and you'll never know why she would do what she did. It just ain't in the cards!
