I hate to say this, because I know that fundamentally it is wrong, but I can see your wife's perspective on the "waiting a few years" thing. I have often thought that about my H - that if we could just be apart for a year or so and he could get help, things would better.
Anyway...of course now I've come to the conclusion that it's the two of us who are to blame, so being apart isn't a way to solve that problem. I'm still guessing your wife is acting on fear and past anger, and that what she really wants - more than anything - is to get back together with you and have that loving, sexually fulfilling marriage she always dreamed about. It's too bad counseling isn't an option she wants to consider - she could probably shorten that "few years" into a few months.
