I do understand where you are coming from about the over night stays, etc. She sounds like she's pushing just a wee bit to have some freedom during the holidays. She probably hasn't taken into consideration that you may be making plans of your own for the holidays, i.e., which include friends and family visits and you being away yourself a bit.
You will need to clear this up very soon, as the holidays are fast approaching. You don't want your SS to get his hopes up, i.e., his mother telling him that he's coming to stay w/you a few days during the holidays. It's okay to visit or go out for lunch, etc., but you shouldn't be put in a position of having him over night unless you want to do that.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
