I have read the DR book and Sandi's 37 rules. I have been applying these techniques daily. The one I struggled with for a while was asking her whereabouts. In the last few weeks I've really improved in this area. I had one slip up on 10/16. This night she stayed out until 5:45am and I confronted her when she got home. At that time I thought that was completely unacceptable, but Sandi helped be realize it was out of my control and something she could do if she felt like she wanted to. Other than that, I have been great in this area. No more asking where you went, what you did, who you were with.
I do struggle with rule #19. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't deserve a happy tone from me or any positive dialogue. She is the one throwing the M away and don't want to make the process easier for her to navigate. However, I do see the other side where it can confuse her and make her question why I am acting this way with everything going on.
All the other rules I am applying daily and haven't talked about our marriage is quite some time. No gifts, no waiting around for her, no phone calls to her, and no "I love you's".
It's an uphill battle, but I am learning to adapt and overcome the struggles.
Me-29 W-29 M 5 years (2010) Kids S-6 S-5 W Ring Off: 9/28/15 Filed: 10/12/15
