ILYNILWY and it's done? Gift of 1 month

[Butterc]

I had to take a break from the forums, move into some positive thinking and GAL.

I'm having more good days than bad since the bomb. I've made some short term goals. And one big one.

Before the bomb, I had applied for a job. I had put my availability to work after October 5. Then I got bombed. I decided I would not make any big decisions for a few months.

Then, Oct. 5 rolls around, and I get called for an interview. Great! I haven't worked full time in 18 years and very sporadically since. H and I decided I would be a full time mom.
So, even though I'm thinking getting a job is not something I am prepared to do, I can still use the interview as practice. (Something I used to be really good at).

Well, I guess I am still good at it. I interviewed the morning of Oct 9 and by that afternoon had received an offer of employment.!!!

I didn't have to re-think it... I accepted to GAL, to give myself something to feel positive about, and even though it may affect me financially in the future, I felt I had received the miracle I prayed for.

I start next week and I have been busy almost every day with last minute appointments for all the things I will not be able to do.

In the last few weeks, I've really felt good about myself. My H is still home, and will be renting soon next month. I have been the family accountant, and told him I need him to take an active role, so he can appreciate the budget.

When he has brought up finances and lawyers and everything related to moving on, that places me in a "bad mood funk" all day.

I've had some good cries. I've beaten a chair. I journal. I remind myself to stay patient.

Another coaching session today and therapy tomorrow. My days are hardest when he is home. He will prepare dinner for the family. He offers to go grocery shopping. Yesterday we caught up on Walking Dead together. Then he leaves the house, and I'm reminded about how empty it is and how am I going to fill up all the time I spent not thinking about him. I am so ready to go back to work!!