DB - It really seems to me like your wife is blocking you out for her own self-protection. The fact she insinuates she wants a divorce, but won't come right out and say it, plus some of the other stuff you talked about (like her "forgetting" about the shower you took together), leads me to the conclusion (based on my own HD experiences) that she is still feeling a lot of hurt, anger, and resentment. And she wants to hurt you back like you hurt her in the past.
How do you feel about simply - and lovingly - confronting her on the whole issue? "We've been separated for 10 months, haven't ML in a year, I've been trying to change but I feel you are still punishing me for my mistakes. Honey, we need to sh*t or get off the pot here. It's time to stop living in the past and move on. What can *I* do to help you get past this?"
