Moving forward (Smothy 10)

[Pyrite]

Hey Smoth- stay strong girl. As the months pass, this just slides into the "life is [censored]" basket. From a Buddhist perspective this is Samsara. To be free from the Samasaric cycle, and ultimately attain enligthment, can be found by way of the Dharma. This is true on all levels, whether you are a monk or just a happy janitor. Life is just life. [censored] happens. It is how we CHOOSE to interpret that and let it affect us that is what makes "life" events either a catastraphe, or just one of those things.

The Buddha goes into this obsessively, but really it is all just as simple life is what you make it. You choose, every step of the way. Two ways of thinking about this as I see it - If "something" makes you (or I) anxious, then a)avoid it or b)embrace it. A) is necessary a lot of the time, to function, get passed it etc. B) is much more rewarding, and ultimately you end up back at where you get to with a), but it is because you are more generally OK with it. This leads to next time being in a much much bette position to deal with it,

1. You feeling anxious is not a failure. It is normal. It would b e abnormal if you weren't.
2. put it aside to when thinking about it is more ideal.
3. think about it. why are you anxious? you know ALL of the answers. Remind yourself of these and that these are normal.
4. So where do you want to be?
5. Be there, until the next round of Samsara strikes.

For me, right now, if it wasn't for the children in the middle, I am in a better place than I have been my entire adult life. I am getting used to these custody situations being just another shitty part of life that I have to live with.

Hey - on a side note - I am just gobsmacked by what a piece of [censored] my STBX really is. I am out of the picture yeah, and governed by her own conscience and that of her doting OM, I found out today that she has claimed and received over 10K ($AU) under false pretences of having 100% custody dating back to when we were happily married. It's just something I never would've done because it is ....well wrong, and she would've just followed my lead on that. I mistook that for many years that she shared my values, but it seems that she was just mirroring mine .Anyway, she will be slapped with the debt at EOFY. Doh! Another instance to practice - thats her sandpit, none of my concern.

miss you ((Smoth)) - Py