I thought sharing boundaries was related to the A and thought LBH should not bring up R unless WW wants to discuss.. I have so much to work on to understand relationships in general.
I'm either confused about what you are saying, or else you are confused about the definition of boundaries.
A boundary is for your protection. If the other person dishonors that boundary, you are the one who does the action in response to their behavior.........which is more effective if it is some type of consequence to their behavior toward you.
I am not sure where you stated your boundary to your WW. I assume it had to do with her not sharing the MBR. My opinion about that is that you can let her know you do not desire her presence in the MBR, however, I have seen where it can literally become a fight and the point of not sharing the MBR is completely lost.
Exactly how would you word that boundary? "I will not share a bedroom with a spouse who is cheating on me"? Ok, then what would you do if she continues to put her things back in the MRB? Right now, she sees it as a power struggle.
IMHO, there are some other areas that you need a boundary. For example, when she shows disrespect for you in front of your sons. But first, you must stop showing disrespect for her! Both of you were guilty of that poor behavior at the dinner table. What did it teach your son?
Have you read the link on detachments? Don't start saying this and that is your boundary, until you know more about it. Okay?
Last edited by sandi2; 10/28/1511:45 AM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
