Can ALL marriages be saved Vol. 2

[Rouky]

I know being lonely is hard but it gives you time to do what YOU want or has always wanted to do. It's hard but try to embrace it.

[Gmum]

I know.
I'm used to being alone. It just felt weird feeling like there was no one "out there" for me. No one to spoil for christmas and to spoil me.

And I'm tired. It's not so much that I need alone time. I just wish there was someone else to make my D breakfast once in a while. My day starts with her going "Mom, I want to get up" and then I'm just on for 12 hours.
Would be nice to have someone else cook and clean and give her a bath or worrying about her eating a healthy diet etc for once.
And I'm so bummed that when I move I most likely won't have laundry in the building anymore, it's back to schlepping to a laundromat *crying smiley face*

[Rouky]

I totally get where you are coming from. I feel the same. Can't give you any advice as I can't find any for me, but my heart goes to you :-)

[Gmum]

Yay! Another great therapy session. Feeling pretty good. AND my new jeans came in the mail:-)

I realize that if my H doesn't get his act together and work intensely on himself I don't even WANT to be with him. He's a mess. For some reason, it feels good to feel this way. I hope he gets better, don't get me wrong. But for now I'm just glad he's not around.

[Rouky]

So good to hear that Gmum. Wishing I had your strength :-)

[Mona52]

I get sad, melancholy when I realize I have no one to text too. I can text my mom if I want to hear negatives, I can text my best friend if I want to deal with alcoholism, I can text my D17 or my D15 if I want to be ignored, but no one to text just because.

I dont have little ones any more, but I understand how you feel about being an only parent. There are single moms, then their are only moms. Single moms have some kind of help from a father figure. The fathers take the children on weekends etc. Only moms do it ALL. They are the only one to be there. I hate hate being an only mom. That is why I get so grateful to the silly teens at the drive thru window. They have no idea how thankful I am that someone else cooked something for my children to eat.

I am glad you feel he is a mess AND you do not want that. It may not seem like a good place, but that is a great place to be. If only we could buy a house there, instead of flip flopping to the bad neighborhoods of "I will take him back no matter what condition he is in".

[Gmum]

Thanks, Rouky and Mona.

It DOES feel good to not need him, well financially I do, but mentally I don't. I still want it to magically work out. But not now. We both have so much growing to do.

I met with my new friend today, the one who is also getting divorced. She told me to bring my computer and she installed Excel on it and gave me her budget template. Budgeting is one of those things I repeatedly put off, but now that I know how to keep track I'm almost excited. Almost, haha.

[Mona52]

A habit takes 30 days. Make sure you look at your new budget every day for 30 days. I swear budgets are harder to stick to than diets!

[Ancaire]

Gmum! I am so proud of you!!! You have come so far in a short time. New jeans are such a thrill. How did they look? Are you still excited?

Great job learning to budget. Keep with it, because once you get good at it, you will be so much better off financially than you can imagine right now. Instead of being managed by money concerns, you will wind up actually managing money...money that you have on hand! It is totally worth the work of learning this new skill.

[Gmum]

Thanks Ancaire.
The jeans look great.

And you hit the nail on the head re money. I should manage the money, the money shouldn't manage me. That'll be my new mantra.

Last night I unsubscribed from all the tempting emails I get every day. Goodbye Net-A-Porter, TheOutnet, ShopBop etc...
Instead I signed up for Dailyworth and Farnoosh Torabi's newsletter. I also listened to the latter's podcast when I took my D running this morning.
Oh and I've decided to do the 52 Week Money Challenge. Basically you start by putting $1 in your savings account week 1, $2 week 2, $3 week 3...you get the picture. By 52 weeks you should have more than $1000. That's pretty good for someone, who so far has no income, haha

Oh, and my H emailed me asking if I would be interested in a little "job" transcribing some stuff. Not very interesting and not very much money, but I told him ANYTHING involving me making money, is interesting.

He's flying in tonight to see D for Halloween. We're having dinner, then tomorrow we'll take her to some kids parade. Hope he's not gonna be weird and awkward. If so, I'll pretend to not notice.