Thanks for posting that Thornton, I read it and it cleared up a bit of my own sitch. We forget the gift of time thing so often, and try to rush things at the first positive sign.
Great post. Much needed.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Thanks thorn. It's good to hear from someone who successfully went through this!
E, it's nice to have the support, ideas, and know that I'm not the only one in a similar sitch!
So, stay the course... oddly enough, I have realized that I am not as much of a ball of nerves. I think I have finally started to calm down, which was much needed. I went a couple days without looking at social media, and honestly didn't think about it. That was nice to realize that I had done that.
I am starting to believe that I can do this, not just say it to myself, but actually feel it.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Keep it up! It's nice to believe it, isn't it? I am slowly coming to that realization, too. Hope my advice hasn't been detrimental to you in any way...
Thornton, thanks again for keeping me in line! BTW, I decided not to ask her out...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Had a good trip for work, and actually had a lot of fun.
My partner at work mentioned to me last night: "welcome back, you seem much more like yourself now" hopefully everyone sees that.
Ibuprofen. That ride home was a killer, and I never would have made it without something for my headache! Yes, self inflicted.
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On a side note, went out and had a few beers after dinner. I have paid for that all day! Had fun with my boss and a coworker. Really enjoyed myself, and I had them laughing several times. Mostly before anyone had a beer. I felt good! Not because of drinking, but because I was so far removed from problems.
They encouraged me to go and talk to a couple girls. No I was not looking to pick anyone up. But it was nice to have a conversation with a pretty lady, that appeared interested in having the conversation. Huge confidence boost. I realized that life with another person could be possible. I still want W, of course. But, I know that I can talk to people that I don't know, and be ok.
Good trip. Minus the yuck feeling
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
E. You did not lead me astray in any way. It's great to see that my train of thought isn't unique, nor is my sitch. Keep it up, we will all be better through these trials.
Thorton, you are an inspiration to us. Keep the advice coming! You've been there, and made it through the other side, so your story is very valuable to us
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Keep moving forward dday. Put one foot in front of the other keep hiking up that hill. One day you'll get to the top of the mountain. You'll look down and see the swamp of BD, the jungle your in now. You'll look out and see blue sky and feel the sun on your face. In this moment you'll know you did the right thing, that every thing is in the right spot in the universe and life is good. Be well dday, be strong
Thanks mutatio, that's a great way to put it. Keeping with that story, I would say that I am walking on a more level place right now. I still think about us often, but I don't feel quite the emotional wreck that I was. Maybe the calm before the storm? Maybe because I believe that W is rethinking things, not sure.
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I am grateful today:
Had a nice visit from landlord last night. He is looking out for me.
Get the boys the next couple days.
Feeling much better today, physically
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
S6 called me last night. Just kept telling me how much he misses me. That's hard. I love those little guys so much. W just ignores them whenever they make any comments like that. Like sunday, when s4 said during shopping, "mom, we're a family again!" While I was walking around with them after getting meds for s4. Last week at kid swap, s6 asked W why he spends less time with me than her. She just gave him a fake smile and said she loved him.
I think that these kids are really trying to work on us. S6, last time we went to church, and she sat with me, was sitting between us and grabbed both of us and slid us closer together.
I don't know if that will help her give us another shot, but I would think that if anything will... it has a good shot!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I think you are doing great, dday. I see some positives in your sitch.
Stay the course. I think you are starting to get some of your confidence back, and whether you believe it or not, confidence is one of those things that people can sense. You don't need to talk about it, it just oozes from your pores. And that my friend, is very attractive.
