Hi Cali, where are you now? Or can you point me to the thread where you describe what happened after retrouvaille and what you thought of it? In particular, I wonder how your wife took it when maybe she wasn't 100% "in".
Currently I suppose we are 'piecing' as far as the definition goes, that said W has a good deal of work to do ... Things she is sorting out for herself... I had a bit of a head start in this area, that whole "gift of time" thing wasn't something she really had as most WAS do focus energy in the A and OP .... Not themselves as the LBS does.
As far as Retrouville .... I was impressed with it as it gave us a much needed item.... Hope.... This said I would caution doing this... The WAS must be willing to do what it takes, it's not just a weekend, it's a 3 month program that will bring up several issues a couple has to address. At this point we are not using what we've learned in the way it was presented , but we seem to use it in a different way ... Again at this point W is still sorting herself out and I am still waiting to see where all the pieces end up before I make a decision ... In short I am DB-lite approach as I am weighin my options and what I can live with.
I would hope if anyone learns anything from my sitch, it's to become a better person... Regardless what your spouse does or doesn't do... That's the secret to all this as far as I'm concerned
