Parents: help me parenting while separated (2)

[Ripe]

That's good advise, SunnyB. What good does it make to our kids if we also get sick?

Regarding my STBXW birthday lunch, I decided to stick to my initial decision of not accepting the invitation.
I really do not feel I have anything to celebrate with W at this moment, to start with.
Second, I think this kind of events with the four of us would just confuse the kids and raise their hopes and expectations.
I am pretty convinced the seizure S9 had is related to stress deriving from the separation, so I don't want to give them the impression that W and I can be together again.
Third, and as much as it costs me to accept it, there is a tiny bit of revenge for what W did for my birthday. It's only a bit but it is there, unfortunately.