I feel for you, Avanti. It's so hard to know when to quit trying or not. In a way, those of us with more clear cut issues have it easier. Since my H is absolute poison to me, it's easy to see I need to let him go and start on my own path. But I can tell you for certain, my heart does not see it that way. If he suddenly came back, saying all the right things, I would really struggle. H still spouts the most hateful things imaginable, and I am torn up about the end of my marriage.
I want it all to go back to when I thought I was happy...but was I really? Depressed, isolated from the world....I don't think I was, but I would have certainly said so. Maybe I was comfortable.
Were you truly happy, Avanti? Were you comfortable and safe? Is your perception skewed a bit?
Just some things to think about. At the end of the day, it's your decision. It's worth taking as much time as you need to think about. Our family members are influenced by culture, misconceptions, and a desire to help. They mean well, but you already know they don't have the answer. That has to come from you.
As always, I'm here for you if you need me. Be happy. That is my wish for you.
