Back on these forums again 2

[Mona52]

I am going to see H today. Probably just for a minute or 2. So I want to make it count. I have been giving him nothing but positives with zero backslides for a while now. He has been responding nicely, but he has not taken a step toward me yet. He emailed me twice yesterday, both emails were just forwarded emails for soccer. I spoke to the coach yesterday and asked him to please only email me, so I will not get any more soccer emails from H.

I have a classy, but sexy outfit on. I am going to make cheeseburger pie for dinner. It is sinfully bad for you, but the smell is outrageous. Bacon, you just cannot go wrong there, and the pie crust makes the whole house delicious.

The kitchen and livingroom look better than they have in 5 years with my stupid decorations.

But none of that matters if my mouth becomes involved. I am angry at stuff, and I feel I have every right to be angry. If that shows I get to keep my anger and lose my H. So, unless I am stupidly laughing over something he just said, I have to keep my darn mouth closed.

I packed up a bag of his stuff, so I can give that to him when he comes in. I already have a legitimate excuse to get close to him and touch his arm when I make a request. It will show I need him, but not that I am needy

Right before he walks in I will listen to the Salt and Pepper Diner by John Mulaney because it is one of the funniest bits of comedy I have ever heard in my life. There is no way I can be mad after listening to that.

I will ask him vaguely about his job then ignore him, but not in a mean way. The same way I would treat a girlfriend if they stopped over. I only need to not act like a psychotic maniac for 2 minutes.

That gives me a 50/50 chance of making it that long