Hi Blugirl, I feel your pain. It's been 6 months since bomb drop and 2 months since my divorce and I am still struggling with the pain of betrayal.
Needless to say, my X isn't remorseful at all abt the hurt caused by the affair. In fact, he's the one who pushed for the divorce to proceed.
Your husband may or may not ever express remorse abt the affair but that doesn't mean that he doesn't feel it. So you wouldn't want that to affect you too much. But does he show that he's sorry in other ways? Wanting to go for MC sounds like he's still trying.
I think what would help is to work on you and the marriage.
In one of the books I have read, there was this suggestion to set aside a scheduled time and duration to talk abt the A. You could put questions abt the A you want to ask your H in a bowl and your H can choose from the questions those that he wants to answer for that day. He will eventually have to work his way through the questions but he gets a choice and may not feel so pressured.
Have you asked him why he felt picked on? Could it be that he felt ambushed by your need to know about the A?
I guess right now the wound is still raw but perhaps you can consciously set aside protected time where you will not talk about the A at all.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
