I learned through speaking with members and reading the books that emotions are indeed like waves. Before I did act on them, almost always negatively.
If this were me some time ago I would have let rip and accused her of seeing him during the mornings bla bla bla. Truth is he goes into work at 08:30 and it is a 30m drive. She leaves home around 7:35-40 to go to the gym so risk everything for a 15min coffee when tomorrow I leave on a trip? Sounds stupid, possible but not logical especially after being caught so often.
What would happen if he goes to work at 10? I would take it down as evidence but something to blow up at? No. Not this time. Also, I cant go around accusing her of something everytime I see his car or even him around the city.
As you can see, my way of handling trust is to rationalize if what I am seeing is real or imagining it. How often do we snoop and sneak hoping to find crap to prove something negative and blow up in their face about it only to walk away thinking ... maybe next time when we dont.
Sometimes Spielberg wouldn't have s**t on us as script writers for a fantasy flic when we imagine some of the weirdest s**t that our spouses are supposed to be doing when we try and match dots with squares and triangles to have a story believable enough to convince us that something is going on.
I went down this path and it was destructive. I chose to go another route. Expect the best be prepared for the worst.
For the moment it has kept my emotions in check and made me think about the lighthouse.
The LH is our character and the waves emotions. If our character is strong enough to withstand the emotions we constantly feel, especially in stormy periods it will guide us and our R to safety.
The only difference is that with each wave we withstand we get stronger.
