This doesn't really sound like a case of HD vs LD etc. It sounds more like a relationship issue I call the "flip flop" where you've changed the balance of certain area and it makes you behave differently. This happened to me in college where my girlfriend played hard to get until I stopped being interested...then she turned into a "stalking", lunatic, freak that I never wanted see again and I had to transfer to another school.
So back to my point...The one thing that all of us HD guys need to remember is that an LD spouse needs to have some things more fundamental than the Love Languages to get their desire back.
I don't care how perfectly you nail your spouse's LL because if you don't convey confidence, strength, and character, she won't "nail" you. This is something I keep repeating to myself when I hear myself getting all "self-helpish". I say to myself "don't look like a weak pussy in front of W". I also have begun to focus a little attention back to the things I enjoy and back to work to show her that I'm still someone with a life outside of the home and that I'm (in Elvis' voice) "takin' care of business". There's also the simple "attractiveness" thing. I think the formula I have found for this is to be very confident (doing everything I just mentioned)...then don't blow it by dressing, grooming or generally acting like slob. I just discovered how dressing nice makes others around you feel good to be around you. If you or your W have fundamental attractiveness problems, then no love languages are going to fix that.
Now, I just mentioned working on yourself. It sounds like your W is negative and possibly has other issues. This isn't very attractive to you. You were probably LD regardless of anything LL she did because of this. She probably spoiled the quality time because of this. Who knows? (well actually...you do). But this is a personality flaw which she should work on. It's going to take a lot of baby steps because these are pretty painful to confront but it's possibly to create a system to diffuse the resentment while letting them know they are irritating you.
In my sitch, I always correct my W when she says something wrong. This irritated the bajeezus out of her so I established a hand signal that lets me know when I'm doing it and she gets to quickly "nip" it. Maybe work on these types of ideas before worring about the sex.
