Hope your Today has been a little lighter then Yesterday and will be somewhat more fun Tomorrow.
I agree with all the analogy of yesterday, today and tomorrow. If at least we are run by a microprocessor and could just think so precise. But we are not, and we burn inside with the Yesterday pain mixed up with guilty. And we anguish Tomorrow and hope that we will be in peace and taste real happiness. So with all this in our heads, we are Lazy Today.
It's not a perfect world, not close to be a perfect life and we are far from perfect beings.
I guess the deal is to break things into departments. Now you are lazy V. Then you are a workaholic V, a little later you are a woman, a chef, a soldier, etc...
My IC told me that once you need to overcome what is inside of you, like pain, trauma, hate, anger, sadness... and still live in a normal world where you need to work, talk, see people, you need to break the day in several pieces. This way you feel less stressed out because you won't expect more done then what you have planned for each stuff.
Trauma is something permanent, it won't go away. What will happen is that you need to continue helping yourself in all the ways you can. Eventually something will click and you will feel OK with all this.
Everyone has there own time to heal, to let go, to forget and forgive, to make it not so important anymore.
So, don't be so hard on yourself. If finances are the most important, then tackle that first. Prioritize, know how to ask for help and accept the ones that are being offered.
There is only one thing that can't be resolved (at least for now) and it's Death. Anything else is manageable.
Never asked, but are you taking any ADs? They help, and they help a lot. Miracle little things that makes me a normal person to function in a not so normal world.
The only thing I wish and pray for is that you never let go. Life is wonderful and there is so much more to it then the people that hurt us. Learn from it, live it, cry on it and let go of all. One jerk out of your way will probably give space for two or more nice people to love you.
Believe that you are brave. Believe that you are a lovely person that has lots to offer. Believe that you do not deserve anything less then respect and caring. Believe that no matter what you can understand your Yesterday, hope and learn how to make your Tomorrow better and live today with 100% desire of being alive.
You said V, LIFE IS SHORT...so go girl, go girl, go girl.
Take good care after yourself V. We all love you a lot, Pink
