Sorry you have to be here, but this is a good place to be with a lot of helpful people.
I was cheated on by my wife so I understand the pain. It is difficult to get past but it can be done to some degree.
I don't know if anyone ever totally gets past it. I didn't. But I did get to the point where it rarely affected me the way it does in the days, weeks, and months right after you find out.
I was able to be open to my W again. Things still didn't work out, but it wasn't because I wasn't able to; it was because she wasn't willing to.
We went to MC (ultimately failed) and I have gone to IC to deal with it. I made a lot of progress on my own but in the end your H and you will need to work out together what you need to do to deal with it constructively and move forward together. I would think that would be very, very difficult without a mutual commitment from both of you, and the help of a MC who has experience helping people through this successfully.
