Hello everyone, I am a newbie. I am on my way to get the DR book from the library. I have been reading these forums the last couple of days and I have a question for all you.
How do you past the betrayal of being cheated on? I am really struggling. I have triggers and flash backs and I become angry all over again. My therapist says this is normal. But it really bothers my husband when it happens. He would rather us just "move on".
When it happened, the state of our marriage was not good. We were both to blame for the problems in the marriage... But I didn't choose that route! To make matters worse, our MC said that my husband probably did this out of retaliation. "He was not in love, and as soon as she served her purpose (hurting me) she was no longer needed." And it was over just like that. My husband admits he took things way to far. And now here I am trying to pick up the pieces. My husband doesn't like discussing it because it reminds him of the awful choice he made. Given then state of our marriage at the time he actually comes off as though his actions were justified....and this really just rubs salt in my wounds. I just don't think he gets it. I feel constantly invalidated.
I don't want to come off as the victim here. I have my faults, and I'm working on them. I just don't know if I can do this. My father was a repeat cheater, and I sat and watched my mom suffer for years! She had 3 kids to look after and couldn't make enough to support us all. I feel like in a way, my father knew that and behaved as such. I swore to myself my marriage was going to be different, and yet here I am...
So I am all ears... Do I put on my big girl panties??? Do I focus on what's broken in me?? How do you heal when the other person doesn't even really seem sorry?
