Re: LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (3)

[gs9]

"She continued to verbally abuse, running me down and rubbing the other guy in my face on a regular basis.
So you do think I should have continued letting her know where I was going and what I was doing even though she is WW?"

Not necessarily. You can show your trustworthiness in other ways. For example, if you say you're going to do something, do it. If you're going to the store, tell her and just ask if she needs something. etc.

Got it. I'm on it

[quote]"I feel the difference here (not that what she is doing is worse than what I did) is my unfaithfulness was once, no sex and I immediately confessed, repented, showed remorse, asked for forgiveness and began trying to earn her trust and reconcile our M."

Ask any woman on here if what you did was devastating, even though there was no physical sex. To them an EA is much worse than a PA.

No doubt. It wasn't an EA either. It was a drunken encounter. Not that makes it any better. I know what I did was terrible. I know it was devastating and I'm not discounting it at all. And our M has been suffering ever since.

Just concentrate on what YOU can do. It's tough as heck to not think of your W with another guy, trust me, I know, but the sooner you start concentrating on your actions and not hers, the quicker you will get through this.

Trying and was doing really well until last night.

It already seems like she's waffling because of her text about you possibly seeing other women. Don't tell her you are or are not. She will start reflecting her own insecurities onto you so you'll see more paranoia on her part. Shows that she doesn't want to fully give you up yet. Use that to your advantage.

I told her last night. She said if I'm with another woman then it will just re-enforce the decisions she's making about the D. If I would give up and move on then I want the D too and I have not changed. I know I can not control what she thinks but I do know I don't want her to think my integrity is not intact. I know being a man of integrity is a man only a fool would leave.