For some reason today I really want to tell her I love her. I won't, and I'm not sure why I have the urge so strongly today. Probably due to spending some time together this week, and having a decent time.
I know I need to keep doing what I've been doing and see if it is really working, or just all in my head
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
For some reason today I really want to tell her I love her. I won't, and I'm not sure why I have the urge so strongly today. Probably due to spending some time together this week, and having a decent time.
I know I need to keep doing what I've been doing and see if it is really working, or just all in my head
Dday,
I am in the same boat. My W and I went out this weekend (her suggestion) and we had a great time. I really wanted to tell her, too. I did slip a little and put my arm around her...she didn't push it away and act upset but she also didn't didn't really lean in, either. I just left it at that.
The question is, do you think it is working? You can post everything on here and get all sorts of advice (it seems that mine goes against the flow half the time), but in reality only you know your wife. Sorry if I can't be any more of a help.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I don't know if I am gaining ground or not. My judgement is clouded by how much I want this to be on the mend. If I text her, I get an immediate response 90% of the time. She wants to do "family type stuff" together. Has followed me when I have walked away, to keep talking. Has told me about her plans. Hasn't told the kids that she wants this to be permanent... etc.
So I see things, but she has not came out and said anything. We haven't done anything that is just the two of us either.
Trying to have no expectations is tough with my hopes.
I know it could all be nothing, but maybe...
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
If I text her, I get an immediate response 90% of the time. She wants to do "family type stuff" together. Has followed me when I have walked away, to keep talking. Has told me about her plans. Hasn't told the kids that she wants this to be permanent... etc.
I know that this will probably go against the grain, but to me those are all positive signs. Maybe what you are doing is working?? I mean, if she is following you to keep talking, how can that be anything but positive?
Quote:
So I see things, but she has not came out and said anything. We haven't done anything that is just the two of us either.
Let me ask you this, would it be so bad to ask her out to dinner? Whats the worst that could happen? Not saying that you have to have any relationship talk or the like, but maybe that is the bridge she is looking for?
Quote:
Trying to have no expectations is tough with my hopes.
Same boat! I got my hopes all sorts of up when the W asked if we could go out Saturday night. When she called me today, towards the end of the conversation I said I had a good time and she said "yeah, it was nice." Very cryptic but I said nothing else about it. I really want to ask her out for a "date" but I am unsure...
Last edited by Evil_E; 10/26/1507:38 PM.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I have been kicking the idea around of asking her to go out to eat. Go and try somewhere new. It goes against DB for pursuit though, right? I have wondered when/if it is good to try and ask her to do something.
I would probably be more nervous than on our first date, lol
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I have been kicking the idea around of asking her to go out to eat. Go and try somewhere new. It goes against DB for pursuit though, right? I have wondered when/if it is good to try and ask her to do something.
Why not? If what you have been saying is true, then it appears that she may be willing. What is her favorite food? Search the area for those restaurants- maybe one you haven't visited. TripAdvisor is great at that. Find something not too noisy but also not too quiet. Just treat it like the first date with no expectations.
Take her out. Talk with her. No pressure and no relationship talk, unless it goes there. Just have a nice evening. Fingers crossed!
Last edited by Evil_E; 10/26/1507:56 PM.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I would recommend not asking at this point. This is where I struggled too. I would see one little positive sign and want to hit the gas pedal and floor it to 100mph.
Slow down a little. You don't want to be too available. You aren't going to ruin anything by slowing down. BUT, you can make her lose interest by rushing.
So you went and had a good time together, let her think about it while she's away from you and want more! Create a little challenge and mystery with her. That will generate a spark! And sparks are good!
I remember early on during my reconciliation my fiancé asked me to go on a lunch date (I WAS SOOOO EXCITED!). I'd been through hell and things were looking good! I decided to tell her I was busy and that we would have to get together another time. That was so hard to do! But guess what happened, she started to chase me a little bit.
Slow down. Don't blow it now. Keep doing what's working, dday (this goes for you too E).
