Re: LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (3)

[sandi2]

I've made the boundary of this is where I'll be sleeping but she brought up that when I come home late she would like to sleep in there because the garage door wakes her up.

She thought she had you on the MBR/garage door. Yep! You can bet your bottom dollar she's controlling.

will you be at the house this weekend? If so please make sure the cat has food, please clean the litter. I've done most of the housework, but please dust everything and clean pictures w windex, and please clean the marital bathroom" I know this is her being very controlling telling me what to do around the house. I did not respond.

OMG! She could have had half of those jobs completed by the time it took to write it out. I can just see me leaving a list of jobs for my H and telling him to dust everything & clean the pictures with windex! Good, you didn't respond.

She must think if she keeps you tied up all weekend, you won't have time to do something fun.

2 hours later she sent another txt " Don't bring a woman into my house. That would be a mistake" I didn't respond.

Now it comes out. Great job of not responding!

Saturday evening she sent a text that said " I'm missing you not being here" I didn't respond. 2 hours later she sent a text that said " Ha! Well, at least I tried! I'm sure you've moved on" I didn't respond

I love it, love it, love it!!! See how she's desperately trying to get a reaction out of you?

Sunday- I asked her to have the kids call me. 2 hours later she said " I asked D4 to call....she ran outside to play w the boys. We will be home by 6." I didn't respond.

Just before 6 she called me 3-4 times and I didn't answer. She then sent a text that said " I'm having a friend and his daughter over for dinner. DO NOT COME by here." I didn't respond. I believe she was lying. she was mad bc I didn't respond to her telling me she missed me and I wasn't there when they got home.

Exactly. She's tried pushing several different buttons and nothing worked. She saved the "I've missed you" for last. Excellent job at not falling for it and responding.

90 minutes later she sent a txt "Have you seen the remote"
I responded " I haven't. I understand your frustration w the garage door waking you up. I've been clear about where I'll be sleeping and why. If you'll leave the chain off the front door I'll park outside the garage and use the front door or you can sleep in the basement."
She responded " Stay out of my room" "tell your girlfriend that you keep trying to sleep with me" "Don't wake up D4 and I bc you are selfish and inconsiderate" I didn't respond.

Just more buttons she's pushing. Good job. Keep it up!

She said she would be honest with me if I would be honest with her. I said Ok, are you still talking with the 2 guys you've had an affair with? She said she still talks to the first one 2-3/wk and it could have been considered a physical, emotional and mental affair but the second guy hasn't done anything inappropriate and she hasn't talked to him since September because he won't talk to her until the divorce is final.

No, she won't. She just wants to be assured that you have no girlfriend.

I said " so nothing inappropriate?"
She said "no".
I said " I know you're not being honest. You expect me to be honest with you but you're not being honest with me"
She said " yes I am, he is just a good friend"
I said " W, I've read your text messages. I know you're not being honest. I know you've told him you love him, you're looking forward to a future with him, you've spent the night with him and he has told you he loves you too." She then admitted to these things.

Well, you should not have told her you've read her messages.

I then told her everything....

I told her that I understand and I would be happy to stop playing if she would stop talking to the other guy. She said it's not even a bargaining chip because she has no connection to this guy. I think she's just making an excuse to keep talking to him but I said "fine, I'll just stop playing because I understand it to be a obstacle if we're going to reconcile so I'll just stop"

Why???????

I told her I love her, I want her, I do not want a divorce, I want our m just not like the one we had.

She said our marriage ended last year and this part is just the paperwork. That if we're going to be M we would have a new proposal, ceremony and rings.

I noticed she said nothing about reconciling. She wants a wedding with new rings and the works.

We did hug some on the bed on top of the covers before we went to our separate rooms.

Oh yeah? And who slept in the MBR?

The H is telling me to be open and honest with her. To not withhold from her. That she is coming around. To be an open book. I'm doubtful

You poor sap! You were doing fantastic until you decided to be open and tell her everything without holding back. THIS WAS NOT THE RIGHT TIME! She was spinning. She was pursuing. She was jealous. She was frustrated she couldn't manipulate you......and you turned around and just screwed it.