"Of course I want to hold to my boundaries, I also am wanting to get rid of this hard a$$ attitude that she is picking up on me. I am finding it hard to do that."
You are still very attached to your wife's actions and are trying to control the outcome of this whole ordeal. I understand at this point. You should be taking a deep breath and trying to decide exactly what you want to do for you. Setting boundaries is a great way to do that, Not getting angry at here and telling her what to do.
"I have been wanting to make the transition from the DB with a WW to just DB. I am not sure if this is the time yet but I am thinking about it. Or do I continue like she is a WW, no contact."
If she is wayward??? She is willing to threaten you with bogus charges, taking your kids away on a whim, lying to you...then she is still quite WW and only way that is going to change is if she wants to. You can't FORCE her to change or snap out of it or anything. What you can do is to stay strong and confident...set your boundaries.
I am asking is for you to think about how you have been approaching your interactions. Detaching yourself from her crazy train is so important right now. Detaching yourself from her moods and actions, allows you to not react. it allows you to do what you think is best for you and your kids. What that is, is really up to you.
If you are on the path of removing your support from your wife's life, as a friend, supporter, etc. as described on Sandi's WW thread, then I would say that is a fantastic approach. Where I potentially see your efforts faltering is the continued reactions to what she is doing and getting upset with her.
Also, please, please, please reread the Detachment and boundaries information that is on the welcome thread. Also try to read more / anything more on the webs from reliable sources to help with this. The resounding theme should be in your head that this is a way to protect you, not to control her.
DEEP BREATH. do some more reading! You can do this!!!
