H has been very distant for the last few weeks. We barely see each other or say anything, even though he does come around. So that makes it a little easier for me to try to detach myself.
This weekend was our marriage anniversary, which was not addressed between us, but H was off and home until midnight that day somehow. I just went to do stuff with my kids. I am learning to have no expectations.
The other day MIL and FIL were at our house watching the kids due to H's irregular work schedule. H did not come home all night until late morning, so that red-flagged them. MIL asked me what is happening. I told her he did not want to come home and stayed only for kids. I didn't disclose the details of OW, but told them about drinking and financial issues. They said they will talk to H. SIL is supposed to fill me in how it went (since I have a little language barrier with MIL) this week, but obviously nothing much because I see no difference in H.
I am trying to stay on track with exercise, my classes, meetups and so on. Yesterday I cleaned the whole house really well, which made me feel better since I sometimes have not had energy to tidy up and I knew I didn't like it. I hope I will keep this up too.
My kids give me strength. Though it is difficult sometimes to take care of two toddlers, they are full of life and hope. They make me laugh. I feel so bad and sad when I think of the possibility of broken family, but for now, I do what I can do today.
