Need advice for a WW who left Part 4

[dwh15]

Thanks Irish. It's been a few days since my last post, but not much new to report. Took the kids to a Halloween party Saturday night with a bunch of my family. Did hay rides, costumes, the whole works. Kids loved it and I got to catch up with some aunts, uncles, and cousins I had not seen in a while. Yesterday, the kids were with WW, as she and OM hosted their own Halloween party with the neighbors. I don't know much about it, but kids came home happy and said they had fun. I've gotten to the point I don't press for too many details when they come back from mom's place. Just high level of how they spent their time, make sure they were fed, and had fun.

Detaching has become easier, I think in large part because WW seems to have lost interest in communicating. I have not initiated in months, and the past 3 weeks or so has been text only from WW, always asking about kids. I send brief replies, and that's it. Have not spoken on phone or seen her in person in quite a while. Getting through the days better, with just occasional setbacks when I get triggered by something. Was cleaning house yesterday and came across some old photo albums, which of course sent me reeling for a few minutes. But I bounced out pretty quickly and went about my day.

I still bounce around between wanting to be done with WW forever and wishing we could work it out, but the more detached I become, the more I am leaning towards wanting her out of my life. At this point, she seems to be happily floating along in her fantasy, still oblivious to the pain she continues to cause me and her kids. When I add that to the years of lies and betrayal, and the mental images of her with OM, I'm not sure that I could ever overcome it all and be truly happy. I would have to see a catastrophic change in WW to even consider wanting her again, and I don't think that will ever happen, short of some major event causing her to totally bottom out and seek therapy, plus come to me begging for forgiveness. The odds of that are so improbable that I am assuming it will never happen.

I've started talking with a divorced mother of 4 kids, and we are hitting it off pretty well. Haven't went on a date or anything, and we're both in the mind set of just looking for a friend right now, but she seems really nice, and it helps to have someone to talk with, who has been through D. No idea if that will lead to something more down the road, but I'm in no rush and have been very clear about my intentions. Hoping we can just be friends for a few months, then see how we feel. I'm miles from wanting to be in a serious R with anyone right now, even WW.