Where to begin? Part 2

[Dawgs]

Maybe the way to tell that the you're beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel is when she starts to demonstrate true remorse and starts pursuing in a way that is undeniable.

Think about how most of us reacted when our spouses told us that they were no longer in love or when we learned about the A. We lost our minds and started begging and pleading and obviously pursuing. Maybe that's what you need to see before you can truly say that she is ready to work on your marriage and the light at the end of the tunnel is real. I'm sure I read about the roles of the LBS and WWS switching at some point and that the LBS needs to be careful not to carry too much anger and resentment if/when the WWS decides it's time to return and work on the R.

Very wise words, Cole! How are things in your neck of the woods?

Knowing my W as I do, she is very prideful and has a hard time admitting she was wrong. So far I haven't seen that.

I would more than love to see those actions out of her, but even when we were dating and getting serious she never was like that - she was/is very much like me and has a hard time expressing stuff and she definitely isn't a pursuer. I am not saying that she would behave in ways that is akin to pursuit, but I just don't know. Honestly, I really don't know what to make of her actions.

So here was our weekend and maybe you can decipher it for me: We were supposed to go to a military function but we ended up not going because her uniform wasn't ready and stained. So, she said why don't we just go out instead? Me, being the weakling that I am at times about her, said sure. The kids were already at the place they were spending the night so I thought why not. As we were getting ready, she was on the playful side poking me in the stomach and such. She also changed in front of me - something which she hasn't done in quite sometime. So we went out and had a great time and she was very chatty as she has been the past little bit. Came in pretty late and lay on the floor together watching a movie. Now, there wasn't any ML going on as she "isn't there yet," but it definitely seems her attitude toward me is warming.

I will say this, from the beginning of our dating I have noticed that she is unlike any woman I have ever met. Back then I knew some of her past and how it affected her. I also knew of her slowness to show affection even then. So, maybe that is affecting her now and she is beginning to thaw??? I just don't know.

I am still working on myself and trying to follow the advice here. Honestly, I really wonder if I push to much of the techniques on here what kind of affect it would have on her. I want to say that by doing what I have been has been working, but we will see. One of the things that I am most afraid of is if I go full out with the DB techniques is would she just give up? I believe in one of my posts somewhere I said that she doesn't give second chances at all. I just really don't know what to think.