Below are Flights comments taken from my old thread. I was having this same debate within myself this weekend. When I was not sure if I wanted my wife back, this was no issue. Now that I know I want her back, it is harder to stick with no contact. It has been over two months now. Shouldn't I do some temp checking myself? I would have to follow the rules closely (ie no pursing, R talk etc). I am curious as to what some of the vets think on this.
Here is what flight posted:
"The only thing I question is NC. There may be a time for it, but I don't think absence makes the heart grow fonder. Absense makes a fond heart grow fonder. You have to rebuild a connection with your spouse without it seeming like chasing. If you become the distancer, it is possible the wayward then becomes the pursuer, but if they are happy and free, each day not thinking of you takes them further away from you. If you go 3 months without contact, I would think things are getting pretty cold. Why not a little touch here and there, "Know you love yoga, though you might enjoy this article", etc? And you have to find what works with your spouse. Making them jealous will even work on some spouses, but it isn't the best course for most."
