Feeling good today. Had a bad start, but got out of bed and went to church with the rest of family. Although my personal beliefs don't match up with a lot of what they say, it feels good to spend spend time with them. Helping with work around the property gives me something to do on Sunday's besides sit around.
I am grateful that this has made me grow closer with my family. I am actually having meaningful conversation with my 80yr old grandfather. Which is a big deal for me since he barely talked to me the first 18 years of my life. This is such a huge positive for me I can't express this enough.
This has also shown me a lot of the issues my mom still has with her split from dad. She still holds some resentment and anger in her over what happened. She was also very controlling in a passive way and would constantly nag at us growing up about how we would never do anything right or we needed to do this s certain way or God wouldn't approve of this blah blah. It really made me resent her and is part of the reason I was quick to join the military. But now I see this in myself in my interaction with my daughter and have stopped cold turkey. I want her to be able to do what she thinks is right for her. And learn from her mistakes.
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
