Zero steps forward

[Pax_luv]

Good morning,
Just journaling-
For anyone following my sitch- the Facebook thing was kind of a dilemma for me. I wasn't sure if I should block, unfollow my h, or just deactivate all together... Out of sight out of mind. Well, I ended up just not going on facebook at all. That way, I could still get my messages, etc. Well, I woke up this morning and thought I would go on since its been a week and lo and behold all of our friends had posted pics of a Halloween party at my/ our house. It was beautiful- I could tell who took care of all the decorations.... I enjoyed looking at the group shots- especially the ones with my h's arms wrapped around a young woman. Hmmmmm.

I knew he was dating so I'm not surprised, I'm upset that she's at my house, and I'm also delighted to say that I'm more attractive than her (maybe it was a costume?) anyway, I'm not one to rag on someone based on their looks(I personally just needed a lil boost) but she is 100% the opposite of me and maybe that's what he wants right now. Anyway, enough mind reading. After browsing the rest of the news feed, I go back to click on those pics again (to see him and her) and they disappeared. Every pic with them together is gone except the general photos of the party. Since multiple people tagged him in several photos, I checked their pages and they were deleted from there, too. I think h saw these pics and asked our friends to delete them. Hmmm was this an effort to not get caught or just protect me? Who knows, who cares.

I'm feeling sad.... I miss my beautiful house most of all this morning.