She Left, not as unsure (2)

[Shrike]

Hey fogg first thanks for posting.

We switched to doing 2-2-3 and swap weekends every other week. I get off 5, and was going to the gym almost every day. But I've since stopped doing that to focus on my daughter on the days I have her.

Yep spot on I was medically separated, it was a pretty rough transition for me, I was pretty scared of trying to figure out how we would make it with money and housing and all that. I let fear shut me down or react incorrectly a lot!

I know a lot of younger military that divorced and was surprised that they're weren't more on here at first, but looking back not a lot of them wanted to really be married from what I could tell.


Last night we were at the house trying to move things out and she told me that she has started dating the guy. But that she is just "seeing what's out there" I was pretty upset but took a a few seconds and a DEEP breath and said: "you are free to date whomever you want, I will not stand in your way. You made it clear to me that you wanted a divorce and I respect that. Please do not bring him around our daughter as I don't think she would be ready for that at this point." She seemed quite surprised that I didn't freak out and react in anger.

I had a bit of paradigm shift I believe last night. I am her EX and It felt as if she was no longer my wife but just another women. Now the reason I say this is because if she's just another women, then I'm free to pursue or not pursue her at my will. I don't think that I am in the right place to pursue her right now however. Still have a lot of work to do on myself.

Going off her actions and her words she still has strong feelings for me, is very confused about what she wants (if anything) as far as us, but isn't against the possibility of something. She says she will not however put that In front of her goals, which are to be happy, work on herself, and pursue her job. And she will not rush into anything with anyone including me. I told her I had great respect for this and was happy that she knew what she wanted for herself.

Now I know sandi will probably smack the crap out me. But I think doing what works is continuing to give her space. work on myself and if the timings right and and I'm in a good place with my changes and happy with myself. Maybe we reconnect and see what happens. This is down the road of course. When I was dating if I liked someone I wouldn't give up just because they resisted initially, I would engage, back off, engage etc. play the "game" so to speak. I don't think me or my exw are there yet. I know I'm not ready to date. And I think she has a lot of hurt and anger towards me to work out still.