Still riding the waves

[mleigh4]

Thank you Job. For the first time in a long time I am fully living in the present and enjoying it. I look back here and there, but I don't stay, way too painful. I look ahead too, but it's so blurry, so I try not to bother with that. The present is where I feel comfortable.

I had to pack up the rooms into boxes to get ready for the carpet. I already find myself thinking that I am not going to unpack it all, especially all the pictures in frames of H and I in our early years....

I find when the days get quiet between H and I, I really do some good thinking and processing. I wonder if it's the same for him? I can see now how he has fallen back into a time in his teenage past to relive. The dumpy "first place", the way he decorated his house (a mix of Thomas Kinkaid and Harley Davidson), his go kart.....it's all so clear. I try not to figure out the why, I catch myself, it's his why to figure out.

Detaching I am. I found some items in the garage that he must have rummaged through when he was here alone. They were placed out like he was going to take them and forgot, welding wire, some work stuff and some danger signs. Normally I would get mad about it, instead, I placed some things I wanted to return to him and some mail with it! I figured if he came back to get it, there it is. But he never did so I put it all back away.

When he moved, He had taken the shop vac in the garage and I was pretty ticked about that, I used it a lot. I found a mini shop vac at Ace hardware! Only $20! So I am going to hang that in the old ones spot.

I am staying healthy. Eating good, going to try some new recipes. I have a regular routine now of walking the dog, yoga and lifting arm weights each night. Going to get a plyo video to take it up a notch!

I am living for today, thinking about some new traditions for S and I this holiday season, and staying positive about it all.