how can i not sound vengeful ? I know that my daughters are not in danger. But the way they are discipline will have an impact when they are older. They might turn abusive to their own husbands, because mom thought them to be. I wouldnt want that. I also dont want to tear her apart. Because i know if I take the daughters away, she will hate me forever. I am in the middle. IT IS STRESSING. I WILL KEEP PRAYING FOR GUIDANCE.
Actually, your kids are in the middle... you are one of two parties in a conflict over them.
The so-called discipline you describe is child abuse, and it has caused and is causing emotional damage right now. She is teaching your 3 year old to suppress her emotions by not allowing her to cry, and she is being violent with them. I hope you will take action to stop this as soon as you can.
You are not in a position to take the children away from her, so fortunately you don't have to fret about how she would feel if you did. Like several of us mentioned, parenting classes are very popular with the legal system and I think you should ask for it right away, along with extensive time with your children.
I hope you will seek professional help for guidance very soon.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Agree with the things everyone has been saying. Your kids should be your #1 priority right now. Not your W or your M. If the kids are being abused, then yes, they are in danger, and you should take immediate steps to protect them. Angel, I would say that you and your W both need help. There is a chain of abuse here that needs to be broken. Please, please seek professional guidance.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
so this friday before entering the retreat she txt me thi "are you going to want to sit down adn come to an agreement for the girls sake or not? so we can determine when your visitation will be and get this over with? this is the last time im going to ask you.my only condition is if we meet you do not come on to me strictly about the kids only.
i didnt txt until saturday night, i txt her this "I appreciate you concerning for the girls sake 6 weeks later. right now im finding myself and most importantly im building a relationshiop with the Lord. so i can be the best father they have ever had. funny thing is you have that sand footprint tatoo in your fee and thats what he just told me, he has been carrying me all this time and ive never been alone. jesus is amazing. we will determine my visitation for the girls soon. right now im investing in the lord so i can be the best father for the best interest in the girls. so it wont be when ever you decide to meet, it will be im ready, God bless you.
soon after that she replies "once again im tying to move forward with this in the most civilized and positive way and your respond with you negativity and think its positive because you disguise it with the lord? i have had the children these past 6 weeks and i attempted to let you speak to them and you didnt behave positively which is why i didnt allow you to speak to them ( lies, i just told her she needed help) Instead continued to harrass me and have others contact me as well. but thtats fine if you want to continue to be absent and not step up as a father in a positive matter tahts on you. i tried. you always said that if i told you i w anted things to end you would be civilized and that hasnt been the case at all. i hope you understand that God has nothing to do with all the legal matters we need to take care of.
so i answer her this you also told me you are weak when it comes to hard times and you alwasy run. you run from your problems. But yet im still here fighting. i will not let you ruin my day after spending the weekend with the Lord. I ask you kindly to take your negativity with you. You will no longer disrespect me. yes you saying im hiding me hiding the lords is an insult.. Its a shame what decidfullness has let you to be. if only you would accept Jesus in your life that would be for the interest of our girls. but only you can make that decision not me.
she answer this to close it. "ok im not going back and forth with you. i understand that youre going through some sort of awakening so dont worry ill resolve this on my own like always.
what do you guys think? Should i meet up with her and settle my visitations that she will most likely try to manipulate like always. should i speak up and tell her that she is emotionally abusing my daughter and that needs to stop now. Or should i not give in to her demands , like ive always had on my 5 year relationship and just wait for my lawyer and surprise her by serving her. And telling the courts she is emotionally abusing my daughter.
Honestly, Angel, she has my sympathies right now. I would have found it difficult to communicate with you like this, and I think she is being surprisingly respectful of your response to her attempts to reestablish your contact with your children.
Don't try to talk to her about Jesus. Stop. You are turning her away with your nagging. She asked you to stop, why would you not respect that?
Do you have a lawyer? Have you seen this lawyer about getting access to your children immediately?
I don't think it's a good idea you see her alone at this point. Have your attorney send her a letter requesting immediate access and suggest a schedule.
You have many other options than the extreme ones you outline.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Right now, she has your answer in writing that you do not want to meet with her and talk about kids and visitation. You really did shoot yourself in the foot with this one.
Meet with her, but do not go alone. Have someone you trust with you, possibly someone she trusts as well.
Set it up ASAP, and quit acting selfrigteous, because it WILL bite you in the ass.
Do not undermine your case again, you are doing yourself no favors. You can bet your ass that your refusal to meet with her will be logged in her folder.
Set up the meeting - TODAY. And stop sitting with your thumbs up your a$$.
Be proactive, don't be vindictive, STFU and get your kids.
I mean she always wants to manipulate the situation, now im sure she wants to manipulate my visitations to her convenience. I am not playing her game anymore, i already had an appointment with my lawyer tomorrow in order to serve her. I dont trust her anymore, she didnt care that i didnt see them for 6 longs weeks. Why is she acting like she cares now.
