D...this one's hard, but let go of the fear of court date. Lots of people get D, later realize their mistake, and remarry original spouse. Divorce doesn't always mean the end. It was a huge fear of mine, too. But that fear is just too much pressure on you. None of us need pressure. It makes it hard to peacefully do what you need to do for yourself.
Az, I think, that's all it is-a thought, but I believe that she has held up the proceedings. Not sure, because I don't want to ask and have another r talk.
So, if my assumption is correct, then no court date means she is reconsidering.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Hi Dday, it may or may not mean anything. In my case, it was about six weeks from me receiving draft D paperwork to when the D was actually filed. I began to think that perhaps H wouldn't file. That he had got cold feet. However, he did file and I still don't know what caused the delay. Could have been him, his S, court backlog...who knows...
But best not to worry about that or spend time and energy on it. Things will unfold as they will my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I know that you all are right. I know that I keep grasping for signs of hope. I wish that I could stop doing it, but haven't yet. I have seen that W is actually starting to follow me around, pursue. Telling me her plans etc.
May mean nothing, may be the start to rebuilding. I will try and keep expectations in check, but that is the hardest for me.
The last few interactions, W has seen me actually happy and having fun. That has to help. No more depressed dday. No more angry. No more selfish. No more drinking. More fun loving. More of a better dad. More of a better friend.
I'm not done yet, but I am gaining on the one only a fool would leave. It feels good. I'm having fun again. Living again
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I know that you all are right. I know that I keep grasping for signs of hope. I wish that I could stop doing it, but haven't yet. I have seen that W is actually starting to follow me around, pursue. Telling me her plans etc.
May mean nothing, may be the start to rebuilding. I will try and keep expectations in check, but that is the hardest for me.
The last few interactions, W has seen me actually happy and having fun. That has to help. No more depressed dday. No more angry. No more selfish. No more drinking. More fun loving. More of a better dad. More of a better friend.
I'm not done yet, but I am gaining on the one only a fool would leave. It feels good. I'm having fun again. Living again
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I have the same problems with expectations developing when you see those small positives. Just be careful with them because they will wreck your mood over time. I experienced many phases where W was more chatty, would ask me if I needed anything or do thingd for me ( acts of service), etc. They would come and go with her moods of being extremely happy to depressed. Most of the depressed she tried to hide and I realized over time what I seen was often very different than what she was actually feeling(when comparing to thr things I seen snooping). Some of the happy days were even show, some weren't.
Don't hang onto her emotions or what she's doing too much because it can and will change over time. Keep working on you and making that your focus.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Dropped s6,S8 at church and took s4 to dr. He's gonna be fine, after antibiotics. W picked up s6 S8 and met me at the store. I was getting meds. She groceries. We walked together and talked for a few, before I could throw the clothes into W car. S4 said "look mommy we're a family again". S6 said "this is the first time all year we have been together doing this". I know W heard s4, maybe not s6. She was slightly less fun today, but we were worried about s4.
Still pleasant, nothing bad, nothing great. Am I doing the right thing? What about the Halloween thing? Should I go or not?
Please, let me hear your thoughts!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Oh yeah, I paid for Dr and meds before I saw her. According to seperation agreement, W pays the first 1500. Do I ask for reimbursement, or just hang on to the receipts for now? Is it being a dick to ask, or am I standing up for myself by doing it? Don't want to stop any positive steps we MAY be making.
Full of questions today, aren't I?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
