Mutatio, great update. My H is also an "acts of service" guy and I just set as my goal to give him 15 minutes a day of "service." I do a lot for him, but I think its become expected and overlooked, so I am going to tackle small projects throughout the week and see if that helps. I also want to caution you to not become her servant, that isn't attractive either, but as a woman I can say that it feels so good when my H "takes care of me" especially with safety issues and car service. Maybe you should record your actions and her responses and observe your progress, like an experiment. Keep your expectations low and just see what happens.
