Let's just hope that "it" isn't like a baseball-sized kidney stone.
My mom always says "this too shall pass." "Yeah Mom," I'd reply, "but it sure hurts like hell right now."
See what a big help I am?
I'm really serious about getting yourself out sometime this weekend and having some fun with some friends. I did this after a particularly bad event with my ex, and it felt SO GOOD!
Gotta leave in a few minutes, so have a FANTASTIC weekend, COGal!
" When I am weary and cannot sleep, I count my blessing instead of sheep and I fall asleep counting my blessings."
HONEY DO LIST FOR COGAL:
1. You can turn the truck into finance company or dealer sometimes. I had to pay for my ex's car while the OW drove it work every day. D--- was that hard. Have it pulled or sell it. 2. You have children, protect all your assets. 3. Do not pretend with your children. Tell them you are unhappy, that you are working on it and with their help you will get through this. Tell you love them and tell them thank you every time they do something to help around the house. Write out your anger and pain don't dump it on the kids. 4. Buy paper plates. And anything else to make your life simple. 5. Get your hair cut in a simple to take care of style. Change your style or color. H---, buy a wig. 6. Spend time with each child individually. And spend time with you the same way. Take yourself out for a treat. 7. Clean out the closet. Pack the little reminders of him and put it away. If you and him get back together you can always unpack it together. By the way, don't take him back under the same contract. Hold out for courtship. 8. Pick a new favorite color. Pick a new favorite song and fragrance. 9. Forgive yourself for being human and less than perfect. Give yourself permission to stumble as you learn new relationship skills. 10. Decide today that you are a queen and a diva and you DESERVE to be treated as such. And from now on you will DEMAND your due respect and accolades. Make sure you remind yourself every day to have fun and be silly. 11. Start a list of things you are grateful for and add to it every day. Write them down in your personal diary and never marry anyone that can't laugh with you over your list. 12. Decide if you plan to remarry. If you plan to marry again start work on your wish list and pray about every night. Trust me, God wants you tell him what you want and His line is always open. Don't forget to tell him every day the things you are grateful for. If you decide not to remarry, work on the wish list for the rest of your life. 13. Take good care of you. Donot neglect your health. Keep up the personal hygiene. 14. Depression will come like a cloud to surround you and tell you can't make it, it's all your fault, you shoulda etc. Arm yourself with your grateful list, a coupla of snappy comebacks and a plan B. I like bubblebaths with candles, a good trashy novel and some really good chocolate. Make your list of stuff you like and when depression tries to make an appointment to move in, HANG-UP ON HIS A--!
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Growing older, mandatory. Growing up, optional. Living a happy life despite of his sh-t, the very best revenge.
It really sucked...I don't like being on an emotional rollercoaster. My H and I have talked by phone and face-to-face on each of the 3 days. He can't understand that him simply leaving added a whole new level of hurt to the issues that we already had. He has also developed this new angle of everything that's wrong in our marriage. Of course, most of the new angle is 100% my fault. I'm more than willing to take some blame but not all of it!
I took the day off today but have to get the game face back on for work tomorrow. I've got alot on my plate at work and cannot afford to get too unfocused right now.
We're going back to see the counselor on Weds. It should be interesting.
Yeah, I figured it wouldn't be a fun-filled laugh-a-minute weekend. As for it all being your fault, here's a funny/sad exchange I had the weekend with my W and D(2.5 years old): W: Who takes care of you? D: Mama! W: And who takes care of Mama? D: I do! Me: Hey, what's my role in all of this? (pause) D: It's your fault!
I kid you not, she really said that. W laughed, and I was like, "where did she get that?" W claims that she has never said anything like that to D, and, instead, she said that D probably got this from me, when I say, dejectedly, that it must be "all my fault." While I can't believe that my W would coach my D in this sort of thing, it still sucked to hear this whole conversation. Understand that I pick my daughter up at 4:30pm and play, watch, feed her until W gets home around 7pm. On weekends we both probably spend equal amounts of time with her. Grrr.
I hope you don't self-deface around your family. Even if it is in jest, it can cause problems.
Just remember, "that is some pig".
Make sure that your positives shine brighter than your negatives.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Wow, that's quite the story. When your daughter is older, she'll know that YOU were there for her. My ex never played a hand in raising our 2 kids; they actually were asking WHEN we were leaving before I actually did so. They're now 16-D and 14-S. My daughter only sees her dad occasionally with the court's blessing. He switched the verbal abuse over to her after we divorced and then said that she deserved it. So, kids know what's really up. My H has always been there for my daughter; she talks to him more than she does me. I hate that she's losing that also.
I am working on being more confident at home. The people here at work are convinced I'm the confidence-king, because I try things out on them, and do not fear their rejection.
Is the "some pig" comment relating to Charlotte's Web? Sounds familiar, but I can't remember the context. Help me out.
COGal: Sounds like Husband #1 was a real prize, too. You and I need to let our trusted friends pick our next mates (if it ever comes to that). By the time I think D will be old enough to handle mom and dad being divorced, I'll be so old it probably won't matter. Of course, if they have Cialis in 2004 (36 hours of being ready for sex), just imagine what they'll have in 2019!
Quote: ------------- Is the "some pig" comment relating to Charlotte's Web? Sounds familiar, but I can't remember the context. Help me out. -------------
Yes it is. The spider wrote "SOME PIG" in the web.
You can shine in your exuberance, even if you have no real talents (the pig). Just do it without arrogance.
Words spoken about you, whether by a third party or yourself, are very powerful.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Quote: He has also developed this new angle of everything that's wrong in our marriage. Of course, most of the new angle is 100% my fault.
the fact that he's talking to you about it is a good thing...even if what's coming out of his mouth is not so good.
I know you've said he's not likely to turn around but I urge you to read dr anyway it may be helpful to you. heck you don't even have to buy it you can sit at the book store and read most of it there.
and for what it's worth my h left once too...was gone for more than 6 months...was sure he wasn't coming back...it was all my fault..yada yada yada and eventually a light bulb went off in his head and he realized it wasn't all my fault and he came home is more loving and attentive than he ever was before. now if I could only get the lightbulb in his pants to stay lit .
it's a shitty thing to have to go through but either way you can and will survive.
