Thank you so much bttrfly, meleigh and Sotto, it good to hear from you.
Originally Posted By: Sotto
I think the best plan is to keep ploughing your own furrow for much of the time, but respond (and initiate sometimes) in respect of your H. Also remember, quick normally isn't good at times like these - slow is better.
Yesterday I spoke to a g/friend who is a mental health and addictions support worker, she has been following my sitch and offering advice when I am stuck. I told her I wished h would show more "action" and get on with rebuilding our relationship -
Her answer "what do you think he is doing? He is showing you the biggest action of all. Think about it - he has said to you that you are the woman he wants to be with, but he also knows that if comes back into your life now, as he is, then he will destroy both you and the relationship and he does not want to do that. He has recognized that he needs help to sort himself out and he is doing that willingly, no matter how hard he finds opening up to someone and facing very personal issues, he is doing it. He is trying hard to accommodate you in all of this, to keep communication open, to see you and be near you even when it pains him to do so - you remind him of all that he has done, yet he knows its what you need so he agrees to everything you ask of him, even when he does not feel he can give it. He is showing you that you are important to him. Be patient, he will come through this, he will come to you when he is ready. He has been and is going through a big ordeal, you cant see it because its all internally happening, allow him this time and he will love you more for it."
Wow. This is true, this is a big action from a broken man. I know I have been pushing him and I need to stand back and allow this to unfold at his pace, even if that does take months ....but hopefully not years ....
