He left while you were at work to avoid confrontation. That's an easy one. He didn't say goodbye to the kids because he wants to avoid confrontation.
He's a confrontation-avoiding leech, and you should treat yourself tonight by going to a sports bar with some friends and cheering for the KU Jayhawks!
I know it's hard, but you'll get through it. This, too, shall pass - just keep thinking that. Maybe you won't feel like going out, but DO do something for YOURSELF, even if it's just a long, hot bath. I'm crying for you, but I'm also betting on you.
Hang in there, maybe it was for the best. Who knows? Only you can make that decision. Some very good advice here about getting a lawyer and doing some nice things for yourself. Will be praying for you
I know it's probably for the best. I know that marrying him was a stupid decision, and I'm not a stupid person. I KNEW about the lack of interest in sex. I KNEW that he wasn't as financially responsible. Yet, I still never expected this.
I can't even focus; I don't know how I got through work yesterday. I'm working today but taking Mon. off for some mental R&R. I couldn't even do my workout this morning...I'm in week 4 of a running program and just couldn't my mental game on. I have talked to my counselor a couple of times and to my boss's wife (also a counselor), so I do have professional help as needed.
{{{COgal}}} The first post I ever read from you moved me enough to say that I would sell my car and bikes and swim the Atlantic ocean for someone like you. You have the attitude that every decent HD man on earth desires and deserve a thousand times more than your fool of an H ever gave you. When you've done the grieving and the anger, pick yourself up COgal and the world is at your feet. SD
though it may not change the fate of your m, it may be helpful for you to read divorce busting and/or divorce remedy as they can help you through this time...and heck who knows it may even help save the m too.
Dbin is not about working on the m with the spouse but working on ourselves. The books may shed some light on things for you and if nothing else will help you get to a more positive place for yourself and your kids regardless of what comes of the r with h.
COgal, Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you today. Hope you get through it and get to a better place. I'm sure the shock is still present but when that clears you might find your mind in a much better place--minus the constant sex and money friction.
I am not a religious person, but I heard an English preacher give a sermon back in the early 80's, and I will never forget it.
His message was based on scripture, but not on something you would expect, rather on an event descriptor.
The message was on "It came to pass". When he first started, I mentally rolled my eyes expecting to hear some lame, but hopefully entertaining skewed piece of potential heresy. What he delivered was some of the most sound common sense I have ever heard from a pulpit.
Here is, verbatim, the opening of his sermon.
"And it came to pass. Thank God, it didn't come to stay, rather it came to pass."
That simple concept is so hard to embrace when you are in pain, yet the truth of it is incredibly conspicuous. I hope that you can remind yourself during the worst parts of your pain, that it isn't forever, that indeed, it came to pass...
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
