Sotto sotto voce

[rd500]

Hi Sotto. Loved the mental image of carrots. Just to echo Pink. You could be a poster girl for the DB way. I know you struggle like the rest of us but you also get on with it and gal like a boss. ( D14s favourite saying , so it must be cool !!! )

Any news on handsome Dan ?

Hope you have a great weekend.

Take care. Rd xxxx

[Dawn70]

Oh my...LOVED the chopping carrots thing. I'm going to have to remember that next time I cook!

Thanks for stopping by and checking on me and always offering such great comments and support. I appreciate it more than you can even imagine.

Take care of yourself and have a fabulous weekend!

[Sotto]

I'm glad you all liked the carrots story... It's not one I'm proud of actually...but there we go. It was honest at least and did release some feelings.

Well, it's been an eventful day today. I went into town this morning and whilst there I was stopped by a guy who said he saw me at the bookstore and thought he knew me. Turned out we were neighbours up until I was 13. I haven't seen him for 35 years and we had a little chat on the street for a few minutes. Then he asked if I wanted to go for a coffee, but I didn't accept. He isn't a guy I would be interested in TBH, and I wouldn't want to give the impression that I might be.....But nice to be asked all the same!

My friend from work (who is visiting a family local to me) came to visitfor coffee. She invited me back to meet her friends and they invited me out for dinner. So what was going to be a coffee for an hour or so ended up as a big dinner with ten of us and I didn't get back until after nine. I've always been a bit shy about accepting spontaneous invites, so it was nice to just say yes, go for it and have a nice time. They were lovely people and that's a new family I now know in my town.

I'm Mum sitting all day tomorrow to give my Dad a day off. Looking forward to spending a bunch of time with my lovely Mum... Hope you guys are all having a good weekend xx

[rd500]

Have you started wearing Lynx for women ?

Have a great day with Mum

Take care. Rd xx

[Vanilla]

Lol. The imagery of that immediatly made me think of OM in my sitch and I think we all know what would be getting chopped off.

That was also my first thought!

Oh what I can do with a cucumber, courgette or in WH case string bean.

I jest of course.

V

[Sotto]

Yes V, but which are you jesting about - the courgette, string bean or cucumber??

I'm having a quiet day with Mum & have been reading The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle, which I recommend - all about spiritual enlightenment. I read a passage that resonated with me in terms of MLC and I wanted to share it. It's about the feelings of emptiness people have and what they try to do to fill the void.

"Another aspect of emotional pain...is a deep-seated sense of lack, or incompleteness, of not being whole. In some people, this is conscious, in others unconscious. If it is conscious, it manifests as the unsettling, constant feeling of not being worthy or good enough. If unconscious, it will only be felt indirectly as an intense craving, wanting and needing.

In either case people will often enter into a compulsive pursuit of ego-gratification and things to identify with in orger to fill this hole they feel within. So they strive after possessions, money, success....or a special relationship...so they can feel better about themselves - more complete.

But even when they attain these things, they soon find the hole is still there - that it is bottomless. Then they are really in trouble, because they cannot delude themselves anymore. Well, they can and do, but it gets more difficult."

Soon after BD, my H told me that he felt he had a void at the very centre of his heart. He said this in such an impassioned way, I felt we had got to the nub of what was happening for him.

[HaWho]

Hi Sotto- thanks for sharing that. It certainly resonates in my MLC sitch as well.

I know my H feels something is missing inside as well. As I look back over the years, I see now that he was applying many, many external fixes to internal problems.

For myself and my own healing, I see why it is so important to sit quiet. So much is revealed about myself and about him.

I will add that read to my list ...

[mleigh4]

Thank you for sharing Sotto. On BD, my H kept saying he felt "empty" He certainly works hard to fill his void with external things.

As for me, like Jack Johnson sings, my whole world fits inside of my arms. It's that simple.

I hope you have enjoyed your day with mum

[bttrfly]

Hi Sotto,
I believe Buddhists call that the Realm of the Hungry Ghost, where nothing fulfills or satisfies ... also big part of substance abusers MO - trying to fill that hole inside with people, places and things ... it doesn't work. There are no shortcuts. The only way is through the pain to the other side. Guess it's no surprise that many MLCers abuse drugs and alcohol also as a way of trying to relieve their suffering.

Hope you enjoyed your day today. Thanks for sharing that. Will have to dig out my copy of The Power of Now to re-read it. xoxoxo

[Pink17]

Hi Sotto,

That is indeed very powerful reading. It actually make so much sense in many of our sitches. First, we think that we did something so wrong and that's why our spouses left, then with time to think and reflect, we start understanding that they have so much emptiness and unhappiness.

Would be so nice if they give themselves a chance to read such book or join a forum like this one. I am quite sure they would learn a lot about themselves, life and love in general.

Well, what we do not control we can't change either. So, let's make the most for ourselves and enrich our souls.

You sound good Sotto. Nice to hear that the bees started noticing the flower. And it's nice to see that you are in outgoing mode, what is excellent for your strength and resilience.

Hope that everything is going as planned with the big D. Enjoy a day with mom, my is 5000 miles away and I miss her dearly.

Oh, almost forgot, love the carrot (and all vegetable included) analogy. It's pretty close to Halloween, so don't go crazy on us and start cutting peoples fingers off.

Love,
Pink