Panna-vimutti

[Fogg]

ok. The silent treatment mostly this year then, correct? Was it a factor the last 7 years also.

When I asked what she expects from you I mean more what it is she thinks you want to do and not what she wants you to do. She has asked for space and you have to give that to her, no way around that. We might not like it but we have to respect its their right to live any way they please. They are the only ones in control of their lives and we only have a say when it becomes a boundary issue into our own.

I think its obvious now from you pursuing in the past she expects you to beg and plead if she lets you in closer. That has to change and it could take a long time. It could be something else but lets just go with that for now. Shes mentioned while in that room she would like to be left alone, so that tells me the interactions you are having or while shes in other rooms could be she feels smothered. Remember, its not about how you see the situation its how she does. Continue to respect her need for space and consider how your interactions now could be going against that.

As said above communication can be in many ways not just by talking so don't feel like this may go on forever. She has things to work out for herself and there could just be huge delay of when what your doing that works shows a positive effect.

I think its ok to say some of the things you have but I wouldn't do it every single time. I wonder if she sees it as you pursuing her and wanting her to open up(which she might feel allows you the opportunity to beg and plead). You said in the past that's what happened so that might be what she expects. This is the expectation she might have about you that you have to challenge, but you have to wait and give it time to work.

You said when you initiate she backs off but when she does she can be chatty. Don't expect her to respond to you and let her initiate. When she does don't act super happy or it might scare her away more. Just calm and collected.