Panna-vimutti

[asitis]

Stop trying to guess. She's not talking, so you don't know. Even if she were talking, you are assuming she even understands why she is acting or thinking the way she is. Sure, she is defensive and afraid of coming back into an R she doesn't want. You know this. It doesn't make much difference as to why and what meaning it has.

Have you considered that it may be time to discuss coming to a legal arrangement to protect your custody and financial interests so you can physically separate? I'm not sure the current arrangement is serving you. You've got to be sending some serious vibes to her. And the stress can't be helping. Maybe taking the initiative to do move off the status quo could help. Drive home the reality of the course she is pursuing. Giving you the distance to take that stress off. Having you be the one who is asserting yourself. Just something to think about given your sitch.