I did not speak to an L today, but I have a name from a friend and plan to call him on Monday.
You are correct of course. I am not used to putting myself first. I haven't done that for over 30 years. If it wasn't my H it was my kids. Don't feel sorry for me, I did it willingly. Just did what a good wife would do. So effing hard to undo and unlearn that behavior. And of course he knows that.
So the next question that you so eloquently ask is "what do you want out of life"? What are my goals, and my plan to achieve them? I need to think about that. Thank you for challenging me to do that.
I told my best friend yesterday that I feel like a failure for not being able to keep my marriage together after 30 years. She said to me, you should look at it as a success for having been able to keep it together that long. Most people can't. I feel a bit like a failure. I'm having a hard time getting out of that mode. I feel stuck. I feel like I have compromised so much of myself to have kept my marriage together. And I'm mad at myself for not being stronger. I expected my spouse to appreciate the sacrifices I made to make his life easier then you realize, he doesn't. Then all of a sudden it's 30 years later.
I accept your challenge and I will work on a few goals and a plan to achieve them. Thank you for caring and listening and supporting. Your wife is a fool :-)
