The 'hamster wheel' in my brain has been running overtime this past week, with om moving in with W. S14 never did get back to me when I texted/called him this past week.
When I picked up s14 today, he was upset. He said it was "because mom is acting crazy." I asked him what was going on, and he sat there in silence for several minutes.
I followed up asking him if "om" had moved in - as I did not actually know whether or not he moved in. S14 again sat in silence and did not respond.
After waiting a few more minutes, I changed the subject, telling him he can talk to me when he's ready. On the ride home we spoke about school, his semester break is next Wednesday, and the KC and Toronto game tonight.
After he relaxed a bit and opened up by speaking about other things, he mentioned that he didn't like that "mom makes me come home by 6 pm", so they can all sit down while he eats dinner. He also said that "they"" eat at 5 pm while he is out hanging with his friends.
So this confirmed it for me that om has moved in with W. And back to the "hamster wheel", my mind kept thinking about what I would do if om comes out to meet me, or we just meet - I have never seen him. And I was giving him waaaay too much power in this sitch. I was going thru insults, name calling, and then I would pull my mind back. But these scenes were on a 'replay' button in my mind.
So I checked W's FB page, and she no longer lists me as a "Family" member, but nothing was listed in her R section.
So I looked up om's FB page. I finally saw om's picture. Nice looking guy, there is a picture of a baseball team he is on. Nice smile. He did not look like the pure incarnation of evil that I was anticipating.
But om's page lists that he is in a relationship with my W. Proof enough for me that he is not "just a friend". Also, several selfie pictures of the 2 of them.
The pain lasted for a while. But dang it, my mind kept justifying what W was doing - maybe they aren't sleeping together. Maybe she is just doing this b/c she needs the money. I kept giving her the benefit of the doubt rather than accepting the truth of what is going on.
I understand that we will likely divorce, and with om moving in with W, it continues to grow more likely. Now is the time to get my focus back on s14 - I will have him for most of the next week as he has teacher conferences/days off. I will try and gently bring up the topic of his moving in with me when there is a chance.
