Time to let go.....how(3)

[otw]

Cali
It is strange to hear you say that. All day today I have been reading your posts from the beginning. I am at the waw-mlc 2 I believe. I have not seen any real anger. There are hints here and there when you did a backslide or two but nothing major. I know what we write is abbreviated but doesn't seem bad.

I spoke to IC tonight about the anger and she agreed I did not hit that. She said it may still come. The. We will work through. She said it may come if I discover there has been a secret om or if she starts dating.

I can see it coming then for sure.

[Ancaire]

I'm definitely feeling anger. My H made a mockery of our marriage with multiple OW. I just found out about it, and this nice pure anger is flowing through me. It is definitely propelling me well into detachment.

I am letting myself feel it. I'm really thinking about things H has done, and letting the anger help heal the pain. At the same time, I am being VERY careful to allow myself the feeling while making sure it does no permanent damage. I don't want to rewrite the past or let myself become bitter.

It's a fragile balance. If you ever find your anger, I hope my experiences can help.

[otw]

So strange how this detachment stuff works. I feel ok with the fact of her moving out. Been in the thick of it for 2 weeks. Then she calls today while she is still living with me and tells me she is going out this evening and I feel flooded with jealousy emotions or something! I guess it has to do with the fact of still not knowing if sh has something going on with someone or not. I know it shouldn't bother but we know how that goes! Anyway will have a fun night with th kids. I will make sure we do a lot of great things.
On another note her stepmother Called me today to talk about everything. She is just as puzzled as I am!

[gs9]

Then she calls today while she is still living with me and tells me she is going out this evening and I feel flooded with jealousy emotions or something!

Does she just call or do you have an agreement of who has child responsibility on certain nights?

[otw]

We have no arrangement. We try to give as much notice as possible on things but I knew this was coming. She has t been out in a while so I assume it. Prob would have been good to have a schedule this whole time but now pointless as we are on the last week in the same house and will just follow custody schedule


I almost forgot to tell about the sep agreement she gave me. It was laughable. Actually tried to get a federal law broken regarding who pays the taxes on spousal support. There was a few other things as well but my L said this document could be litigated and thrown completely out if ever needed. So no I basically have to have it redone.

[gs9]

Well even with only a week left I feel you have plenty of time to get out and do something for yourself leaving her at home with the kids. I would give her a couple days notice. ie on Sunday tell her you have plans right after work on Tuesday and then make sure you do make plans to something fun.

[otw]

I def have been doing my thing. I know that is why she is going tonight. She has been exhausted and tired all week and will be doing a lot of moving this weekend.

[gs9]

Make sure you aren't feeling sorry for her. This is her choice to move out.

[otw]

I'm not. Just stating that she is forcing herself to go out.

[otw]

little update.

So she went out Friday evening I came home and grabbed the kids and left the house as quickly as possible. took them to the halloween store for some costume stuff then we went to Dave and Busters for games and food. We had a blast. Got home and we all climbed in my bed to watch some movies and fall asleep.
Around midnight i thought i heard W come in, which would be a little early, but then no one ever came up to the bedroom to get ready for bed. I decided to get up and see what i heard. She did come home and was in the downstairs bathroom and i knew what was going on. She was getting sick. She looked like a mess, she said she didnt eat anything and had some wine and beer and it got to her. I kind of just laughed, but i probably did what i shouldnt have and took care of her. I helped her get cleaned up, got her water and some crackers and tried to clean up the mess. Got her in bed and grabbed a bucket in case the urge came back. I then slept on the couch outside the room for a bit to make sure she didnt get sick in her sleep. In the morning i woke up and went to the store to get kids a doughnut for breakfast and grabbed some tylonel for her. Came home and gave them to her and explained what went on the night before. She responded with "thanks". I wasnt looking to be a hero but something made me feel good to help her. I told her i didnt want her to feel like crap all day. D7 went and played at a friends house most of the day then had a sleep over as well. I took S4 with me to a rugby game and we stayed out most of the day, then to come home to W moving furniture with some friends helping. That was not fun to come home to.
S4 and i hung out and ate some pizza then headed to bed later. W came in and thanked me properly for helping her the night before.
Got up next morning and went to church. Wasnt feeling in a good place afterwards, just a little sad, and didnt want to go home as i know she was having more people there helping her. I left her to deal with the kids and went and ate some lunch.
Got home later and took care of yard work, Tm w to tell her she could bring the kids back if they wanted to come home since she was at new house unpacking. Took kids out to play at the beach and ate dinner. Got home and took care of kids getting ready for bed. She got home as we were watching some tv.

All in all this really [censored]! i am staying busy and doing things for myself but her just in full blown move mode is hard. She is so focused on doing this.
Spoke to D7 a little more about everything and she asked if i think mommy is always going to be this way now? I asked what she meant and she just said different like she is now.
Didnt know what to say and just reassured she loves her very much.
By this time next week W will be out of house completely and i will need to deal with not getting to tuck my kids in bed for a night or two. Going to be tough.