I can say that I agree with a few comments above. It is a fine line we have to dance on between "friendly neighbor" and "bff". We can't come off as cold while trying not to bff it up. But we really have to watch what we say and how we word it so we are any seen as pursuing.
Up front I think my way of doing it was wrong. Looking back it most likely came off as cold and bitter. I have lightened up a bit and let conversations happen but not drag them out or use one word answers. I am constantly thinking ahead in a conversation as to how I can politely end it and get to my "plans".
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
See, my problem is that I look at everything as a possible sign she wants to reconcile. If she is just doing it for appearances, then I want no part of it. I love my kids, want to make them happy, but I think this crap confuses them along with me.
I want to be there with them, but I want to really be a happy family, not just appear as one
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
D...I'm pretty sure if she's interested in R, the conversation will begin with, "Can we talk?" It won't start with an invitation designed to make sure she's not standing out as a single parent.
You guys are right. It's just me being overly optimistic. I think I need a psychology class so I can understand things sometime.
I fought depression and was negative for a long time. For the last year, I have been on meds, and seeing a counselor, and seem to be getting through most of my junk. Part of it is retraining myself to look at the bright side. Part of that is opening up and baring my soul more. No I have to throttle that all back on this subject.
But, at least the fall colors on the trees are awesome here. Very pretty, and something to look at as a diversion sometumes
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
When my fiancé wanted to reconcile, she started poking around and her energy was VERY different. It was very noticeable even though she was trying to be subtle.
I could also tell by the way she looked at me, there was a glow about her.
It's kind of like when you first start dating someone and neither person wants to lay all their cards on the table but you both knew there was an attraction there.
Thanks thorn. It's great to hear from someone who had been through it.
I haven't seen a glow yet. But W did follow me into the garage at kid swap to keep talking to me. So there are little things that make me wonder. She also told me her plans for the evening last night. I didn't ask, she volunteered them. That was new also. I know I need to quit watching her, and focus on the boys and me.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I don't mean to hijack but I have a question for Thornton. I see that you registered in late 2013. But didn't start a thread until May of 14. I'm just asking if you saw signs and came here before the actual "BD"? I wanted to catch up on your sitch a little and see how you came through everything and that stuck out to me...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
dday, I have wasted a lot of time waiting for my wife to come to her senses. The outcome for my marriage is bleak. As I come to grips with that I have reduced the time wasted waiting. My acceptance of the situation has allowed me to focus on my interests and my children. My wife and I are living parallel lives.
I suggest you consider start living in parallel with you wife and stop wasting time waiting for her.
