Mustardseed Sprouting

[mustardseed]

Hi mustard seed

I actually have read some of your posts on ancaires thread, and then I started reading up on your earlier threads. It is eerie how similar your early experiences are to mine. Husbands stone walling, and selfishness, possible or probable alcoholism, Very similar financial issues, the way you were searching to figure out your role in dealing with someone that had just mentally detached.

I have also read your last thread, and you currently possess so much dignity and grace. I am impressed that you have went through such hardships. The way you have carried yourself while daily having to deal with OW is truly inspirational.

I still have to finish reading all your middle threads though. If you don't mind my asking, why did you guys end up with a 50/50 custody arrangement?

Julie

When H got the second OOP he put in a line at the end of his report that he thinks things had escalated to the point that I should not have contact with the kids. It was total BS, but what it did was allow them to remove me from the home with orders to not contact them. When we got to court the next morning he retracted that line immediately, because he knew it was BS. The rest of the order was twisted reality. He knew the lingo to use to turn a normal marital disagreement into "harassment" and he completely set up the scene by playing nice but starting a conversation that he knew would make me defensive. Then saying I was "harassing" when he tried to shut me up by saying "I don't wish to discuss that", and when I kept talking he would say, "you are harassing me". He recorded all of these set ups.

So what ended up happening was the order was rewritten by our Ls to be more of a separation agreement and the agreement that we were going to have the D court take over the order (I am kind of regretting that now because the D court keeps getting pushed off so this stupid order is still in place. I walked in there with nothing, 50% custody was the best I could hope for. I also left homeless, so that made it hard to argue for more anyway.

I do believe, in my state, that if a father wants 50% they are entitled to it unless there are real reasons why the shouldn't. However, you should talk to a L about it.