I am sorry that you are here under some real awful circumstances. I've only read the last three pages of your thread and it was enough to get me to come out of the woodwork to say a few things to you.
Originally Posted By: angel r
I need advise on what should i do. Should i go 50/50 custody or should i go for 100% custody. The reason being is that there has been several situation where she is emotionally and psychologically damaging my daughters. And maybe this is the only way for her to realize? When i judge decides that is best for the girls to be with me. Ill give yall examples. She disciplines my 3 yr old a lot. she smacks her if she misbehaves and if she cries she will count to 3 , and if after 3 she is still crying then she will smack her again and put in her the closet with the lights off. If my little girl throws a tantrum she will smack her her block her mouth with her own hand in order to be quiet , while she keeps smacking her. If for some reason she doesnt stop crying then she will take to the shower with cold water in order for to calm down. If she were to cry about anything maybe something random ( you know kids tend to do that) then she will tell her to be quiet or she will give her a reason to cry, meaning that she will get up and smack her in order for her to have a reason to cry. I told yall about the incident where she decided to get off the truck while I was driving, and didnt care that we put our daughters safety in danger while i followed her on the side of the road. There was one time when the baby 9months fell of the bed because she felt asleep and the baby crawled and fell of the bed hitting her little head. Every time i would intervene she would tell me not to get involved since i dont know how to discipline them and i only show the affection like if they would understand. Last she didnt take about my daughters when she decided to live in a shelter. She basically used them in order to receive all those government benefits. If it wasnt for them , they would have probably told her to take a hike. She didnt care that i havent seen my daughters for over 5 weeks because she is only worried about herself right now. I could have gladly left the house and left her with everything. She is showing them though love just like she was shown when she was a child. I dont like that.
It seems that the abuse was not a one-off thing, but an ongoing problem, right? Have you ever sought help from a domestic violence advocate? You need to know that women are also batterers/abusers although they are in the minority. But it's certainly out there.
Originally Posted By: angel r
there was times in public places where my daughter would sometimes cry about small things ( you know how children are) well she would count to 3 and if she didnt stop crying then she would take her to the restroom and spank her hard there while she blocked my daughters mouth with her hand. There was this incident one time at a restaurant where my 3yr old daughter wanted to keep eating chips, well we told her no since that was enough and she had to eat her food. Well of course my little girl cried just like any other child would do. Well my wife counted to 3 and my baby girl kept crying and she couldnt stop crying because she knew what was coming , meaning she would get smacked. Well my wife got more mad because she kept crying that she got up from her chair so quick and hard that she knocked over the chair where my 9 month old daughter was sitting in her baby seat. It knocked over the chair to the ground and my baby with it. Luckily she was buckled in her seat. My wife didnt even go after my 9 month old she still went after my 3yr old and took her off her chair and took her to the restroom in order to discipline her and smack her in there.
Where were you when this all happened? Didn't you try to stop this at all?
In my mind, you BOTH need to attend healthy parenting classes. Oftentimes the state coalition against domestic violence offers trainings/classes on positive and healthy parenting. I urge you to seek out and reach out to the state's domestic violence coalition agency for support.
I wish you nothing but courage and strength as you confront this complex problem in your marriage and home.
