Back on these forums again 2

[Mona52]

I am not sure what happened to my last post on the old thread, but this is what it should have been.

(old thread:)
Back on these forums again


Thanks Gmum, thanks Photo, thanks Zues. Yep Photo, I would have loved to hop on here, but I did not have access. Maybe I will make that a new rule, NC H unless i can type it in here first

Zues, I started reading up on yours and we share many similarities, I am excited to read further!

So, a small, everyday babystep is starting to build more momentum. My ounces are turning into pounds. Everyday I keep to a reduced calorie diet and every day I do a variety of different exercises, but one is consistently walking around the campus. I am not shooting for a fast weight lose, but I am losing ounces everyday. Those ounces are turning into pounds. I was able to wear a pair of jeans yesterday that I have not touched in a few years.

I do not think I am actually ready to run yet. When I quit smoking in January, it was from a 30 year (ish) habit, so running is a pipe dream. But I am eager to run. As I walk, i try and walk faster and faster and now, my legs burn way before I run out of breath. So I think I am going to try jogging soon. As soon as I have spare time at night. (So never)

I did not succeed in NC yesterday, but it was unavoidable. And I shot myself in the foot.

When my S first signed up for soccer months ago, I decided to use H's email addy. I thought that if the coach was speaking directly to H, H would be more involved.

Well, I shot myself in the foot on this one, because now I do not get any emails from the coach. I have emailed the coach and asked him to send it to my email address, but he has not. So H is still getting all the emails.

Well, the fields changed, the times changed and the colors my S should wear to practice changed, so my dearest jerk face (I mean H) forwarded me the emails yesterday.

So far so good. I did not break my NC rule. However... Finally after I dropped S off at practice, I broke the rule and sent him a quick thank you. (Thanks for forwarding the emails, I was able to get S to the right field, at the right time, in the right colors)

That is when I completely forgot that H is supposed to pick S up every Wednesday. It is understandable that I forgot. He only actually ever picked him up once. Every other Wednesday he had an excuse...

So he sent me a text back saying he was on his way to pick up S from practice. (practice is an hour and our text messages took about that long).

Without thinking about what the heck I was doing, I texted him back "I can grab him, I am already in the car."

I am an idiot... Finally my H is set to help with a kid and NOOOO i have to go and offer.

Of Course the jerk face took me up on my offer.

OK, so that was totally my fault, but he could have said "Mona, I never get to see S as it is, I will be happy to pick him up..."

It is all good because the text messages ended very pleasantly. It looks like I am up to at the minimum, 3 good things since my last bad thing to him. So I cant complain.

Now today, I deserve a 2 x 4, one with a rusty nail if you have one.

The last time he left, I snooped in EVERYTHING. I constantly was checking up on him. And that was not so easy, seeing he moved to another state!

But I gave myself OCEANS of pain by snooping. I think snooping is the single worst thing anyone here can do. It never solves anything, what they are doing does not matter, and we are always left in pain.

But my mother told me my H was looking for an apartment and will move out soon. It made me chuckle, because his credit is horrid. Then I snooped. I am so stupid. I went to credit karma and saw his report. Yep, it is still bad. But then I saw that less than 30 days ago he took out a loan for a few thousand!

I am posting here, and not yelling at him. Because I have not received a penny in support. Not one penny. His children could use a loaf of freaking bread...

THIS IS WHY YOU DONT SNOOP!

Anyway. It sticks, nothing i can do but move on. I am having a great day at work! I lost weight. Me and the kids found the cutest little house for sale. All is good, no need to go mental.