Throughout my time here on these boards, I have seen others posting songs that have helped them or were pertinent to their sitch. At one point I collected a list of songs and posted it, calling it the DB songbook. Of course, music is very personal, and one man's "inspirational music" is another's "nails scratching a chalkboard". Nevertheless, I toyed with the idea of starting music thread for a long time. So here it is. Below is the starter list - reproduced from a previous thread of mine. Feel free to find these songs on youtube, to post your own on this new thread, or whatever.
Yours truly,
The DB songbook Curator (self appointed) - RAI
I have been threatening to list this DBers songbook for some time. Here is my preliminary list. There is something for everyone: songs about R, A, pain, fear, detaching, PMA, encouragement, piecing, love, hope, and, of course, a Conga.
I have listened to every one of these songs and each has potentially therapeutic value. I have listed songs by contributor. If you have a song that you feel is particular a propos to your sitch or to DB, feel free to make other suggestions.
RAI “Stand Tall” by Burton Cummings (for the LBS, especially when your ego is hurting very badly) "Letting Go" by Straight Lines (for those have trouble detaching) “I'm Not Down” by The Clash (punk equivalent of “I will survive”) “Train In Vain” by The Clash (kind of the opposite of Ben E. King’s “stand by me” – you didn’t stand by me) "It's not right, but it's ok" by Whitney Houston (If you like, but are getting tired of, Gloria Gaynor’s “I will survive”) I've got no strings to hold me down - from Pinocchio, Music and lyrics by Leigh Harline and Ned Washington (dropping the rope) "Don't shed a tear" by Paul Carrack (rebuilding your life because YOU are worth it)
Starsky "Best of the Guess Who" album, especially Side 1: "Undun," "These Eyes," "Laughing," "American Woman," "Star Baby" (classic songs, ‘nuff said) "I'm Scared" by Burton Cummings (Fear – the DBers first hurdle) "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" Burton Cummings duet with Randy Bachman (non- BTO version)
Card29 “Son of Man” by Phil Collins (upbeat and catchy – to get out of a funk) “Two Worlds” by Phil Collins (Faith, trust, fate, love, strength, life, tears, hope – strung into a song – not bad, Phil) "I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith (caution: about infidelity – may cause some triggering)
Lost18 "Just give me a reason" by Pink (How did our R get to this state?) “a little bit stronger" by Sara Evans (It takes a lot of strength to DB)
BW911 Broken Together” by Casting crowns (about relationships, maybe piecing?)
25yearsmlc I will survive (mandatory for any playlist - duh!) I will love again (There is light at the end of the tunnel)
Toots Conga del fuego, conducted by Gustavo Dudamel (the world would be a better place if we would all just Conga!) “Let him go, let him tarry” by Ruby Murray (amongst others – many versions) (Detaching, Irish style)
Koalada "you won't let me" by Rachael Yamagata (unrequited love) "has it happened yet" by Rachael Yamagata (the pain experienced by the LBS - pre-detachment, of course) “When I’m Alone” by Lissie (the shock experienced by LBS)
Raliced Theme song to The Magnificent Seven - composed and conducted by Elmer Bernstein ("no one can be sad or gloomy while tapping their foot to that one" - Raliced loved it so much, she named her thread after it.)
RealMe "Heart of Gold" by Neil Young (I want to live, I want to give - Noble pursuits, to be sure)
Mleigh4 "all in you" by Iration (Honest to goodness, this is a reggae version of ericmsant2's post "The star is inside you"! The lyrics to the song can be found in Mleigh4's thread.)
Has anyone heard Adele's new song, "Hello". What an awesome voice. Listening to the lyrics, it is about a breakup, so I suppose there are some DB undertones. How about another round of regret? This one's on me.
I LOVE it! Great list. Sara Evans' "A Little Bit Stronger" is my go to. Along with another more recent Sara Evans song "Put my Heart Down". Another go to for me is Rascall Flatts' "I'm Movin' On".
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
There are so many songs that acctually mean something now to me based on my struggles with marriage over last 1/2 decade...How about "He is everything you want" by Vertical Horizon
This is what Matt Scannell (lead singer) said it is about:
Well, the long shot of it is I was basically in love with this beautifully complex and crazy person who could see everything around her except for the thing that could actually help her. And I just thought of a tormented glass-is-half-empty person who was in pain about a bunch of things that had happened to her in her life, and always wound up looking to the wrong places to find solace and to find help. And then when that was over, she would just be emptier than she was before. And I could just see her kind of sinking. It was written out of frustration, it was written out of sadness from my perspective, a sense of wishing that she would turn to me, and to realize that I wanted to help her. Maybe she couldn’t see it being what she really needed, and she never did. So the last chorus is really that chance that I had to say, “Hey, look — enough. I love you. I can help you, but I don’t mean anything to you at all.” A lot of people have said that they think it might be about God, and it might be about religion, and I’ve always tried to steer clear of nailing it too far on the head. But if you’re asking me directly, that’s really where it came from.
Cause you never gave up on me, When I was giving love up on you, Every time I thought this love can't work, You stayed to see it through, You never gave up on me when, I was making things rough on you, And you showed me what it really means to love.
Me43 W39 M 12y,T 15y S09,S07 Bomb Jun14 Sleeping separately Jan/Mar15 Share bed Mar/May15 Reconcile Jun15 Aug15 W sais D will happen D told to kids Sept15 W moved out with kids 01 October15
Dawn70, Wow! good choice. A song about detaching. She describes it well. Such a slow gradual process. "Put my Heart Down" is also a good choice. WAS can be really toxic and emotionally manipulative - this song seems to encapsulate that.
I also liked "I'm movin' on". You obviously like country music. Here are some of the lyrics I found very poignant: "you find strength in your moments of weakness..." "I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long, I'm movin' on" -Rascal Flatts
Thanks for the submission. I hope others can draw strength from this music.
