First, ONE DIRECTION is awesome, fantastic!!! I love those kids, and if I was years younger I would be dying for Hair Styles. He is so handsome and I love his voice. Next time, maybe I can go with the girls.
Second, RD you know how I am a bit romantic. The thing here for me is that your W is reaching out in her own way. There is shame, regret, guilty and on and on mixed up in her mind and soul. She is still very depressed and it is a vicious cycle she may be dealing with right now.
As I look back in my life I can remember how many times I would wish to have my XH away and for a long time. Rising three kids and being a homemaker made me depressed too. My XH had it all figured out for himself, job, career, self steam, and blah, blah, blah.
I was there counting the days when I could have a chance to do something more with my life, trying to look at the positive, struggling with my own self, my appearance, even subjects to talk about that did not involved kids.
I guess what I am trying to say is that your W sounds like at some point she just gave up on herself, life and then everything else was in the tornado blow.
I am not excusing her, but I know how hard it is to feel all alone even when you have a Hubby and kids. She probably did everything to everyone and forgot herself. Maybe she became the last one on the line.
It's not you fault, nor the kids as well, it's her own fault, but does it matter who's fault it is right now?
I know you are all stubborn, saying that you can't do this or that. But she always sees that there is something there, some hanging unresolved R and some hope that it can better.
You compare to the little girl... yes, I feel that way too sometimes. Some women are super high maintenance in that area and we need lots of attention. We do not need money, food, new clothes... we are thirsty for attention.
Just an idea... would you go for a dinner, just the two of you. No talks about specifics, no doctor talk, no OM, no wounds subject, nothing that reminds both of you of the bad issues.
But instead, the two of you that started sometime in the past. You changed, she changed, and maybe there is still time to rebuild a family. See what happens. You won't be doing this just for her, but mainly for yourself, to find out what do you feel, how do you feel and if that is what you still wants.
And again, I know you will say that I am too romantic. But I guess life is just to cruel and harsh on the everyday deal, we may need a bit of romanticism to make things prettier and see the magic happen.
Well like everyone says, this is my two cents. Now, I would like you to think and say honestly that she knows exactly what "You" want from her. Does she?
It seems to me that you want her, love her but you don't want her, is feeling good in your new life, moving on, and doesn't love her the same way anymore. Yeap! I feel she is very confused and does not know what direction to take.
You are afraid to get hurt and now she is afraid to get rejected (maybe in her mind...again).
Maybe other girls in this board will agree with me. "We girls are complicated" but maybe because of that we are also the most gorgeous things in this world.
Just something to think about coming from a girl perspective. This would not be pursuing, this would be talking to a good friend with a lot of respect.
Think about. Lots of hugs and kisses to you and the kiddos.
